Gatchaman

Like other late-FF-2013 films, I'm posting this almost a year later thanks to some lost notes and bad memory.

Suited superheros ninjas fight end-of-the-world monsters, their emotions, and regret over lost love in this over-the-top Japanese adventure film, based on a 1970s television show.  Also, apparently when half the planet is in ruins, Japanese will still go shopping and to dinner parties.

I wanted a stupid action film, not a love-triangle dialog-driven drama.  Sad.

Gatchaman
2013, 113 minutes, directed by Tôya Satô

Ninja: Shadow of a Tear

An American martial arts master / idiot gives his wallet to muggers, then beats them up anyway, neglecting to get his wallet back, leaving his address with them.  Then he doesn't think they're a big deal, not bothering to call the cops, and doesn't take care when leaving his pregnant wife home alone.  When she's murdered, he starts with the muggers and advances through a increasing sequence of murderous revenge to hunt down those responsible.

Introducing the film, the director noted that "this movie is not original and not unique.  It's a ninja movie."  Indeed, the action scenes are excellent; there are no wires and no CGI, just raw emotion; as the director says, "All logic goes away."  Unfortunately it also reflects on the stupidity of the lead character, something I just can't shake.

Ninja: Shadow of a Tear
2013, 95 minutes, directed by Isaac Florentine

Kid's Police

Based on a popular TV series from the 1970-80s, the premiss for this film is simple: hit with a mystery de-aging ray, a special police squad focused on organized crime have physically reverted to children.  It's really hilarious, at first, then it's mildly humorous, then eventually it gets old.  It's a one-hit wonder - kids acting like adult, Japanese cops - and then it fades fast.  The huge holes in the plot don't help, since the action is cheesy and more appropriate for children anyway.  It's not even that weird, just kinda lame.

Kid's Police
2013, 100 minutes, directed by Yuichi Fukuda

Why do they need cover stories?  Why do they go to school?

Jigoku de naze warui (Why Don't You Play in Hell)

It's hard to explain the type of crazy that only comes from Japanese film.  Laughable plots, guttural rage, inexplicable motivations, nonsensical action, all are woven together to form the core of many a weird import.

In this installment, a yakuza boss's young daughter has her toothpaste commercial torn from the air, after her mother kills several rival gangsters who invaded their home.  Ten years later, mother is about to be released from jail for her crime, and the father wants to reward his wife with a feature film starring their now-rebellious upper teen.  Meanwhile, a young group of friends want to be filmmakers, making a vow to die happily as soon as they've made a great movie.  They happen to film a yakuza  soldier fleeing the boss's home - a solder who became infatuated in a really creepy way with the rival's daughter.

It's all set up for the final, crazy encounter - the filmmakers are "hired" to stage and film a massive fight between yakuza groups, one featuring the boss and his daughter, the other now headed by the man who "loves" her.  It's hard to describe what happens next, but assume it's insane.

Why Don't You Play in Hell
2013,  126 minutes, directed by Shion Sono

The Wolverine

I've mostly taken a break from film this summer.  While some released have piqued my interest, there have been more important things to do with my time, or I haven't felt like going out.  Last night, though, I was free, and so I continued a series I've been following from the start.

The Wolverine is the latest film in the X-Men movie franchise, which has previously consisted of X-Men (heavily featuring Wolverine), X2 (half a Wolverine origin story), X-Men: The Last Stand (a horrible film focused on Wolverine and Phoenix), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (which burns 150 years of origins in an opening montage, then focuses on events a few years before the first film), and X-Men First Class (which only features a Wolverine cameo).

Okay, the Wolverine story is good.  But really?  This time, events take place after those of The Last Stand.  Logan has isolated himself as a virtual hermit in Alaska, promising himself (and his haunting memories of Jean Grey) to not hurt anyone ever again.  But when some stupid hunters kill a bear, he gets angry and goes into town to pick a fight.   He's stopped from killing them by Yukio, a mutant who can see their imminent death and who was tasked to find Logan.  She takes him to Japan, where he visits Yashida, the CEO of the largest corporation in Asia.  From a flashback, we learn that Yashida and Logan survived the destruction of Nagasaki, with Logan shielding the Japanese officer in a well.

Yashida is dying and says he can repay Logan for the gift of life so many years before: Yashida can transfer Logan's regeneration to himself, saving his life, and allowing Logan the relief of aging and eventual death.  Logan rejects the offer, and Yashida dies that night.  So begins a story of Japanese family drama and political intrigue, as Logan, mysteriously without his regeneration power, decides to risk everything to save Mariko, Yashida's granddaughter, whom the yakuza for some reason want to capture.

Other than him being a nice guy, or wanting some of her (which he gets), this sudden dedication never gets explained.  Indeed, the plot is driven and made "interesting" by several convoluted plot twists, unexplained motivations, and sudden allegiance shifts.  In the end Logan survives of course, though his claws are now their original bone (having been cut off, only the bone regrew).  He gives Mariko one last kiss, then departs with Yukio.  During the closing credits, there's a scene set two years later in which Logan meets Magneto and - back from the dead - Professor Xavier, who explain that there's a serious threat and he's needed again.

I can live with the plots of bridge films.  I know what they're for.  But in this case the plot is just bad, as is, sadly, some of the acting.  Plus, while the movie may have been filmed in 2D, the computer effects and camera shots were made for 3D, and some of the cinematography was therefore "wonky" on a 2D screen.  Overall, there was little to like about the story.

The Wolverine
 2013, 126 minutes, directed by James Mangold

Dead Sushi

Rina Takeda, who looks surprisingly familiar despite me never seeing any of her previous films, stars as Keiko in the latest action comedy by Japanese director Noboru Iguchi.  Raised by an overbearing father to be a sushi chef, but spurned as not capable of mastery, Keiko runs away to work at a holiday spa.  Comedy ensues as she tries to satisfy the spa owners and guests from a major corporation, but things go awry when a mysterious stranger arrives with flying, animated sushi, seeking revenge...

Dead Sushi
2012,  109 minutes, directed by Noboru Iguchi

Earlier this week I sat next to Rina Takeda at the first ABCs of Death screening, the intro of which featured Tim League and the audience downing a can of Shiner beer "high school style."  She and the other Japanese female guests didn't participate. =P So while I have no proof or record of her being there, I know that she and her friend, film stars, somewhere out there have photographs of me shotgunning a beer for what I hope is my one and only time.

That kind of random connection makes me an instant fan, and I hope to see her have continued success.

Tebana Sankichi: Snot Rockets

Japanese people are weird and repressed. I was very tired for this screening, and my legs ached, making it difficult to keep them still. I think both actually enhanced the film experience. ADHD sufferers will enjoy this.

Tebana Sankicki: Snot Rockets
2012, 79 minutes, directed by Yudai Yamaguchi

ABCs of Death

In what I think is the first Drafthouse Films-funded venture, Tim League and Ant Timpson enlist 26 genre film directors to each produce a short, each based on death and a letter of the alphabet.  As is usual, I don't review shorts except when they are produced together to form a feature film.  I'm not going to attempt to review every story; it's sufficient to say some were funny, some were bizarre, and some were downright disgusting.  I can't recommend it for anyone with a stomach or conscious.

ABCs of Death
2012, 123 minutes, directed by Angela Bettis, Hélène Cattet, Ernesto Díaz Espinoza, Jason Eisener, Bruno Forzani, Adrián García Bogliano, Xavier Gens, Noboru Iguchi, Thomas Cappelen Malling, Jorge Michel Grau, Yoshihiro Nishimura, Banjong Pisanthanakun, Simon Rumley, Marcel Sarmiento, Jon Schnepp, Srdjan Spasojevic, Timo Tjahjanto, Andrew Traucki, Nacho Vigalondo, Jake West, Ti West, Ben Wheatley, Adam Wingard, Mikael Wulff, Yudai Yamaguchi, and Lee Hardcastle




The list of deaths below is for my own reference.  I don't recommend reading it, whether you plan to see the film or not.
Apocalypse
Bird
Cycle
Dogfight
Exhumed
Far
Gravity
Hydro-Electric Diffusion
Itchy
Jidai-Geki
Kapoo
Libido
Miscarriage
Nature
Orgasm
Parama Ribo (Pressure)
Quack
Rice
Speed
Toilet
Unsuspecting
Vagitist
XXL
Yeti
Zymosis

The Warped Forest

I'm not really sure what I just watched.  Even having seen Funky Forest, the weirdest thing on film, I'm at a complete loss for how that formed a coherent story in the mind of writer/producer/director's Shunichiro Miki's mind.  It's Japanese.  Picture strange creatures, unusual currency, and über technology.  For God's sake, don't let it splash the dumplings!

The Warped Forest
2011, 82 minutes, directed by Shunichiro Miki 

Milocrorze: A Love Story

This film is comprised of three stories that vary in tone, style, mood - really anything to tie them together except the lead actor and the base theme of searching for love.  I left sad and confused.  Or confused and sad.

Milocrorze: A Love Story
2011, 90 minutes, directed by Yoshimasa Ishibashi

Smuggler

Boy falls into debt, and must work it off as a smuggler, any cargo accepted.  But when the cargo is notorious killer Vertebrae and his partner Viscera, will he survive the job?

This film is awesome!  It does everything well that Yakuza Weapon didn't.

Smuggler
2011, 115 minutes, directed by Katsuhito Ishii

Yakuza Weapon

They give the impression that they want us to take the film seriously.  And that's just not going to happen.  There's far too much gutteral Japanese.  It's way too cheesy.  But then again the yakuza star has a machine gun arm and a rocket launcher leg.  And then there is an awesome 4 1/2 minute 1-take scene - due to the star breaking his neck on the second take!

Yakuza Weapon
2011, 106 minutes, directed by Tak Sakaguchi and Yudai Yamaguchi

Underwater Love

In the film's lore, Kappo are underwater reincarnated spirits who love cucumbers.  One particular Kappo wants to save a girl he loved in life from her own early death.  A German-funded Japanese pinku musical ensues.  It was actually much tamer in those ways than I expected, and was otherwise pretty fantastic.  It's another excellent film from the director of Uncle's Paradise.  The song lyrics are worth it alone.

Underwater Love
2011, 87 minutes, directed by Shinji Imaoka

Chonmage purin (A Boy and His Samurai)

A 19th-century samurai appears in modern Tokyo, befriends a woman and her young son, and takes up work as a master pastry chef.  Yes, that's right, pastry.  From the director of the amazing Fish Story, the film is one part Japanese, two parts dessert, topped with Yoshihiro Nakamura magic.

Chonmage purin (A Boy and His Samurai)2010, 109 minutes, directed by Yoshihiro Nakamura

From the introduction, the film is:
"...gonna make you laugh.
...gonna make you cry.
...gonna make you pretty fucking hungry."

There weren't any guests for this film. I took the these while waiting for my next screening.

Fans eagerly await their tickets for the day's awesome.

Higanjima

I thought this would either be a Japanese splatterfest, or Japanese action film.  What I got was a host of whiny Japanese teenagers, with occasional bouts of awesome tempered by dollops of stupid.  I was disappointed.

Higanjima
2010, 122 minutes, directed by Taw-gyun Kim

K-20: Kaijin niju menso den (The Fiend with Twenty Faces)

The drama, the story, the action, the music - it's all over the top in all the right ways. This Japanese alternative-history superhero film is damn awesome.

K20: Kaijin niju menso den (The Fiend with Twenty Faces)
2008, 137 minutes, directed by Shimako Sato

Fish Story

This wasn't at all what I expected. This slow, winding story leaps across time to what appear to be events only barely related by an unknown 1975 song by an unknown Japanese punk rock band. But watching the first hour and a half is so very much worth it to see the last half hour when they bring it all home.

Fish Story
2009, 112 minutes, directed by Yoshihiro Nakamura

RoboGeisha

Well, this is the screening for which I'm giving up Zombieland. I suspect it's going to be RoboGeisha... and I'm right. Part geisha film, part splatter fest, part body modification, part giant robots, the film seems to be none of those things very well. And while the director warned us that he wasn't allowed to show humans spewing blood, the use instead of CG blood was downright distracting. (Though, having buildings bleed instead was novel.) Eh, given the limitations he should have shelved this script for later.

RoboGeisha
2009, directed by Noboru Iguchi

While they claim contractual obligations prevent this from being called the "world premiere", no one outside cast and crew have seen it before. That's good enough for me.

Kamogawa Horumo - Battle League in Kyoto

It's a bit too slot and bit too long, but, as the Tim League recommended in the Fantastic Fest guide, if you're going to see this the best bet is to go in totally blind. What happens after 42 minutes should be a total surprise.

Kamogawa Horumo - Battle League in Kyoto
2009, directed by Katsuhide Motoki

Tôkyô zankoku keisatsu (Toko Gore Police)

My god, that's crazy fucking shit. This is no doubt best-of-show for splatterfest.

Tôkyô zankoku keisatsu (Tokyo Gore Police)
2008, 110 minutes, directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura