Jigoku de naze warui (Why Don't You Play in Hell)

It's hard to explain the type of crazy that only comes from Japanese film.  Laughable plots, guttural rage, inexplicable motivations, nonsensical action, all are woven together to form the core of many a weird import.

In this installment, a yakuza boss's young daughter has her toothpaste commercial torn from the air, after her mother kills several rival gangsters who invaded their home.  Ten years later, mother is about to be released from jail for her crime, and the father wants to reward his wife with a feature film starring their now-rebellious upper teen.  Meanwhile, a young group of friends want to be filmmakers, making a vow to die happily as soon as they've made a great movie.  They happen to film a yakuza  soldier fleeing the boss's home - a solder who became infatuated in a really creepy way with the rival's daughter.

It's all set up for the final, crazy encounter - the filmmakers are "hired" to stage and film a massive fight between yakuza groups, one featuring the boss and his daughter, the other now headed by the man who "loves" her.  It's hard to describe what happens next, but assume it's insane.

Why Don't You Play in Hell
2013,  126 minutes, directed by Shion Sono

V/H/S/2

Having acquired a heap of knowledge and a pile of leftover tapes from their first outing, this second installment of the V/H/S horror line feels more polished and... boring... than the first.  Sure, everything tied together better in a central theme: private detectives are asked to look for a college student who's been missing for a few days.  At his house, they find lots of static-y monitors and piles of VHS tapes.

This time, it all feels more predictable in its narration.  There's a story with ghosts, one with zombies, one with occult, and one with aliens.  It's all nice and tidy.  And that's what makes it boring.

V/H/S/2
2013, 95 minutes, directed by Simon Barrett, Adam Wingard, Eduardo Sanchez, Gregg Hale, Timo Tjahjanto, Gareth Huw Evans, and Jason Eisener

The Paramount was already running an hour late after their first film.  I stayed in line for Evil Dead for two hours, but when the film was supposed to have started and the previous screening was still letting out, I bailed for dinner and a sure spot at this midnight film.  Knowing now that some people made it (barely) to both thanks to V/H/S/2 also being inexplicably delayed, and knowing that I didn't care much for the midnight film, makes me angrier at the Paramount and SXSW for being unable to keep their schedules even remotely on time.

Hobo with a Shotgun

A few years ago, SXSW sponsored a grindhouse trailer competition.  The winner was for a little film called Hobo with a Shotgun, which has now been made into a full-length feature.  I was 14 people back when the cut the line for its first screening at SXSW (having been at the Foo Fighter's concert), but I made sure to be there the next night.

It's totally awesome.  Filled with over-the-top characters (I liked the pawn shop owner and the Plague), senseless violence, and simple justice, it fits all the needs of a grindhouse splatterfest.

Raw.  Raw good.

Hobo with a Shotgun
2010, 86 minutes, directed by Jason Eisner

Resident Evil: Afterlife

This fourth installment in the Resident Evil film franchise suffers from a few flaws I've seen crop up in the series, namely the Too Many Heroes syndrome and Kill the Extras condition.  The fast-paced action just served to hasten many a demise - the group of characters was hardly introduced when they started getting picked off, leaving only the obvious heroes to the end.  And combining Alice (even her new mere mortal version) with other heroes makes some scenes almost comical.  How long can they extend killing one guy so that all three heroes get a few shots at him?  Finally, a cliffhanger ending on a film like this always disappoints.  There's no reason for it; people still attached to the series will watch the next one regardless, so it's just a point of frustration when watching the film on its own.

Maybe I'm just disappointed that the series has turned into a zombie splatter fest instead of the survival horror of the first film.  I suppose Alien must begat Aliens, etc.  But I hoped they could do better.

Resident Evil: Afterlife
2010, 97 minutes, directed by Paul W. S. Anderson

Gamer

I'm not sure I approve of all the casting choices, but as a violent action film it hits all its marks.

Gamer
2009, 95 minutes, directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

Tôkyô zankoku keisatsu (Toko Gore Police)

My god, that's crazy fucking shit. This is no doubt best-of-show for splatterfest.

Tôkyô zankoku keisatsu (Tokyo Gore Police)
2008, 110 minutes, directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura

Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds

I'm hesitant to say something bad about low-budget film. I know that a director has to work with what he's given, and in this case he was given half the money of the first film to make two sequels. But... I'm just disappointed. Feast was really good. This just wasn't.

The first movie was a great splatterfest, with a reasonable plot and special effects that were surprisingly good. This time they didn't try as hard. The first film established that the monsters wear skulls and skins to hide their appearance - which also helped carry the suspense. This time, there were just too many "beasts" walking around in rubber suits. Come on guys, slap on the furs and skulls and it would look better and fit fine.

Then, a splatterfest needs to have, you know, deaths. The first movie started out by killing the first "main" character in less than a minute. This time too many survived. Sure there was splatter - plenty of arterial blood and goo and gore and other body fluids - but the characters just got up and kept going. It wasn't realistic even for a low-budget alien-invasion horror film.

I'm glad I saw Feast 1, because after watching this I never would have rented the first.

Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds
2008, 90 minutes, directed by John Gulager

Feast

I picked this one up at Vulcan Video on South Congress tonight, not because I'm a big fan of splatterfests, but because the sequel is premiering Friday night at Fantastic Fest, it's the best thing in its time slot, and I'm a big fan of watching films in order. It turns out rentals are free at Vulcan on your birthday, too, so that worked out well.

I skipped this at the fest a few years ago, but the sequel preview looked good. Splatterfests skip most the shocks and all that disturbing phychological stuff to give lots and lots of guts. That, together with the fun, campy feel, made this movie pretty damn good. I'm looking forward to the sequel.

Feast
2006, 98 minutes, directed by John Gulager