Kick-Ass 2

I love the dichotomy of the hit-them-with-sticks heroes in spandex and the blood-and-guts of Hit Girl.  It's like they don't belong in the same film, yet here they are, playing out in unison.  Where is the next sequel?

Kick-Ass 2
2013, 103 minutes, directed by Jeff Wadlow

The Lego Movie

Everything about this film was pretty awesome.

The Lego Movie
2014, 100 minutes, directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller

Fantastic Four

2005.  Marvel isn't yet part of the Disney monolith.  Their film rights are scattered among production companies.  Sony, through its Columbia subsidiary, has released Spider Man and its panned sequel.  Fox is in the middle of the first X-Men trilogy.  A film based on Marvel's original heroes, the Fantastic Four, makes perfect sense, and Fox delivers.... something godawful.  The writing is bad, the acting is bad, the plot is horrid and cliché.  Somehow it did well enough to churn out a sequel, but after that the series was canned, and when Fox decided to reboot (set to release in 2015), the negotiations with Disney/Marvel go so badly that Marvel cancels the Fantastic Four comics rather than provide even a little bit of promotion.

One day, the rights will all revert, and Wolverine can be an Avenger, and Spider Man can help Mr. Fantastic.  But not in this generation.  Instead we get dribble like this.

Fantastic Four
2005, 105 minutes, directed by Tim Story

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I really appreciate what they are trying to do with the Marvel universe.  It's expansive, it's dynamic, and sometimes you need to tear the old establishment down to build a better one.  That's the purpose of this film, not the most obvious "bridge" I've ever seen, but perhaps the bridge connecting the two largest film masses.  S.H.I.E.L.D. has a problem, and that problem is Red Skull infiltration.  It's cancerous, and it's metastasized, and if S.H.I.E.L.D. and humanity want to survive, it's time to cut it out.

It's a little incredulous that they don't just point out that the bad guys were fucking Nazis.  I think Steve and Nick and the rest of the team would get more sympathy for what they had to do if they'd just point that out.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2014, 136 minutes, directed by Anthony and Joe Russo

Gatchaman

Like other late-FF-2013 films, I'm posting this almost a year later thanks to some lost notes and bad memory.

Suited superheros ninjas fight end-of-the-world monsters, their emotions, and regret over lost love in this over-the-top Japanese adventure film, based on a 1970s television show.  Also, apparently when half the planet is in ruins, Japanese will still go shopping and to dinner parties.

I wanted a stupid action film, not a love-triangle dialog-driven drama.  Sad.

Gatchaman
2013, 113 minutes, directed by Tôya Satô

Kick-Ass 2

I have mixed feelings about this franchise.  While I have nothing against the films per se, my experiences with Kick-Ass were less than idea.  Moreover, the existence of these led directly to the cancellation of Defender, the U.S. remake of the excellent Mirage Man with the same director and star.

But then, there's the badass that is Hit Girl.  Really, the series is better every minute she's on screen and in action.  In this installment, several years have passed since Dave a.k.a. Kick-Ass retired.  He's in high school now, as is Hit Girl (Mindy).  She's never given up her father's purpose, and still roams the streets, more dangerous than ever, dodging the oversight of police detective / guardian Marcus.  Other vigilante masked heros have emerged in Kick-Ass' absence, inspired to carry on his mission.  One team, which calls itself Justice Forever, is led by Colonel Stars and Stripes, a former mob enforcer cum born-again Christian.

As Dave and Mindy interact, she pulls him back into a life of crime fighting, while she eventually promises Marcus to "retire".  Kick-Ass joins Justice Forever and helps in their quests to bring down human traffickers.

Meanwhile, Chris ("Red Mist" from the first film) accidentally kills his mother, and thus becomes a multimillionaire orphan, still obsessed with Kick-Ass' identity and hope for revenge.  With Dave back on the crime-fighting scene, Chris don's his mother's old bondage gear and becomes Motherfucker, a superhero whose power is Wealth, which he immediately uses to hire a group of actual villians who wreak havoc on the town in their search of fame and Kick-Ass.  Much violence ensues, until Kick-Ass and Motherfucker must meet for a final confrontation, and Hit Girl decides if she can truly fit into society or accept her role as perpetual outsider.

There's a dearth of kick-ass heroines, and in this series the existence of Hit Girl shines as its brightest contribution.  This could easily be the end of the series, or a bridge story; it's difficult to say if it will work with them both as adults, but if it does, I'll be there to see it.

Kick-Ass 2
2013, 103 minutes, directed by Jeff Wadlow

The Wolverine

I've mostly taken a break from film this summer.  While some released have piqued my interest, there have been more important things to do with my time, or I haven't felt like going out.  Last night, though, I was free, and so I continued a series I've been following from the start.

The Wolverine is the latest film in the X-Men movie franchise, which has previously consisted of X-Men (heavily featuring Wolverine), X2 (half a Wolverine origin story), X-Men: The Last Stand (a horrible film focused on Wolverine and Phoenix), X-Men Origins: Wolverine (which burns 150 years of origins in an opening montage, then focuses on events a few years before the first film), and X-Men First Class (which only features a Wolverine cameo).

Okay, the Wolverine story is good.  But really?  This time, events take place after those of The Last Stand.  Logan has isolated himself as a virtual hermit in Alaska, promising himself (and his haunting memories of Jean Grey) to not hurt anyone ever again.  But when some stupid hunters kill a bear, he gets angry and goes into town to pick a fight.   He's stopped from killing them by Yukio, a mutant who can see their imminent death and who was tasked to find Logan.  She takes him to Japan, where he visits Yashida, the CEO of the largest corporation in Asia.  From a flashback, we learn that Yashida and Logan survived the destruction of Nagasaki, with Logan shielding the Japanese officer in a well.

Yashida is dying and says he can repay Logan for the gift of life so many years before: Yashida can transfer Logan's regeneration to himself, saving his life, and allowing Logan the relief of aging and eventual death.  Logan rejects the offer, and Yashida dies that night.  So begins a story of Japanese family drama and political intrigue, as Logan, mysteriously without his regeneration power, decides to risk everything to save Mariko, Yashida's granddaughter, whom the yakuza for some reason want to capture.

Other than him being a nice guy, or wanting some of her (which he gets), this sudden dedication never gets explained.  Indeed, the plot is driven and made "interesting" by several convoluted plot twists, unexplained motivations, and sudden allegiance shifts.  In the end Logan survives of course, though his claws are now their original bone (having been cut off, only the bone regrew).  He gives Mariko one last kiss, then departs with Yukio.  During the closing credits, there's a scene set two years later in which Logan meets Magneto and - back from the dead - Professor Xavier, who explain that there's a serious threat and he's needed again.

I can live with the plots of bridge films.  I know what they're for.  But in this case the plot is just bad, as is, sadly, some of the acting.  Plus, while the movie may have been filmed in 2D, the computer effects and camera shots were made for 3D, and some of the cinematography was therefore "wonky" on a 2D screen.  Overall, there was little to like about the story.

The Wolverine
 2013, 126 minutes, directed by James Mangold

Iron Man 3

Can this series wind back down after the craziness of aliens in New York?  Clearly the audience expects bigger, better, more, but that's simply not possible with just an Iron Man and friends but no gods or hulks.  To take this on, the script weaves and dodges away from New York references, but does hit dead on with Tony Stark confronting growing waves of anxiety as he suffers from PTSD, and steps out of his suit for some action scenes au naturale.

Other than that, though, the continuity falls flat.  The usual brash Tony eggs on a new badass terrorist to attack him at his home.  When it happens, his suit is damaged, Jarvis shuts down, and all the old suits are trapped in the vault.  What happened to all the suits he kept in his New York penthouse?  Doesn't he own more than one server for Jarvis to run from?  With the President in trouble, where's Captain America?

Before I saw this, I read an interview where Gwyneth Paltrow predicted the end of the series.  I didn't believe her at the time, but after seeing the film, I agree that they've burnt through Tony Stark as a character and are ready to set him aside, pulling him out for cameo roles in the next few Avengers films.

Iron Man 3
2013, 130 minutes, directed by Shane Black

The Dark Knight Rises

It's been a long time since this series started, and so long since Heath Ledger's death.  Is this the ending I wanted?  Is it what I needed?

Mercenary Bane has taken Gotham City hostage, striking directly at the police and the resources of Batman.  Even with the enlisted help of Catwoman, Batman will need to give everything he has to succeed in this final chapter of the Dark Knight trilogy.

Batman's righteous anonymity leaves me hanging.  Maybe that's a lesson on humility I need to hear.

The Dark Knight Rises
2012, 165 minutes, directed by Christopher Nolan

The Amazing Spider Man

As I recently said, I really liked the casting of the 2002-2007 Spider Man trilogy.  They weren't the best films, no, but the actors fit their roles so very well.  That already puts me off such a sudden reboot into new players in an alternate storyline.

Then there's the new Peter Parker himself.  I dunno about this kid who likes to shake his head side-to-side with his mouth partially open.  Did he do that once in high school drama class and his teacher said it "carried his emotion well", so he just keeps doing it as his only acting skill?  I swear he strikes that same pose a half dozen times in this movie.

I guess they're trying to write a better story, but they've mucked it up with the casting.  Sorry.  Reboot it again.

The Amazing Spider Man
 2012, 136 minutes, directed by Marc Webb

The Avengers

First thoughts: There are a lot of ingredients in this pot.

Second thoughts: I was wondering when the not-so-super heroes would be relegated to civilian duty while the fly-through-the-air jumping-on-buildings super heroes would save the day.  Oh, yes, here it is.  Well at least they kept it as part of the action, as an important part of the mission.

Ending thoughts: I don't think this film - aka Iron Man III and friends - was the best film I've seen this year.  Oh well.  It's made enough money that there will be another film.

Final thoughts: Stay until the end of the credits for a bonus scene.

The Avengers
2012, 143 minutes, directed by Joss Whedon

Spider-Man 2

I know the scenarios are laughable, the plots contrived, the dialog drippy.  But I love the casting of the 2002-2007 trilogy.  Kirsten Dunst, Tobey Maguire, James Franco, Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, J.K. Simmons - they all work for me in these roles.  I'm not sure if I'll watch the reboot.  It may leave me with too much regret for what might have been.

Spider-Man 2
2004, 127 minutes, directed by Sam Raimi

Captain America: The First Avenger

It all seemed so superficial. Nothing ever presented much of a challenge to the heroes; Captain America is never nicked by a bullet, none of his team is ever hit by the blue rays, etc. The one meaningful death was a godawful slip and fall into a huge ravine, ala Snow White. With lasers that disintegrate an entire human upon any impact, you'd think at least some of them would have picked up a glancing shot. But no, the only thing any of the bad guys can manage to hit is the shield, and that metal is somehow immune both to bullets and disintegration rays.

(Bullets they explain away when the shield is introduced, but the disintegration rays are just assumed. The movie would have been much shorter, though better, if the first one of those that hit the shield had disintegrated it and its bearer, and Steve Rogers' friend would have taken on the role as Captain America with more humility and better equipment. Or swap it around so the friend is the first Captain America and Steve has to follow in his footsteps.)

As it is, it seemed very much to be a superhero product of the 1940s: unfortunately simple and out of its time.

Captain America: The First Avenger
2011, 124 minutes, Joe Johnston

Green Lantern

I just don't know about this one.  It's too big and too self-absorbed, like it thinks there's nothing silly about a galactic fleet of green superheroes who have a super ring but talk about their lanterns they keep at home in the closet.  And it stars Ryan Reynolds, who simply lacks any facial expression that hints at depth of character.  I understand that the "Lanterns" operate through force of will, and that humans are special because they can act despite fear, but the constant breaks from action to talk about with his friends made it even harder to not notice how hard they tried to push against the inherent cheesiness of the story.  It just doesn't work for me.

And yes, they set us up the sequel.

Green Lantern
2011, 105 minutes, directed by Martin Campbell

Resident Evil: Extinction

Use the Force Alice.  But damnit.  Don't introduce a large cast of characters then kill them all right away.  The pacing of the film is quick, but yet again all I feel is "transition film".  The large cast is introduced, given cursory discovery, the summarily executed, and we're left with a small core no bigger than previous films.  It seems like a waste when more time could have been spent developing the characters that were going to live.

Besides that, my other complaint was with the cinematography.  Why does every close-up shot of Alice appear to be airbrushed?  In one scene as the camera cuts out and back in, the make-up goes one, the make-up comes off.  Repeat repeat.  It's very disconcerting and completely unnecessary.  Milla Jovovich is very pretty with and because of her flaws and all.  There's no need to so crudely hide them.

The next film will be available on Netflix soon.  We'll see where this goes.

Resident Evil: Extinction
2007, 95 minutes, directed by Russel Mulcahy

Iron Man 2

I had mixed feelings about the first Iron Man film.  Sure it was flashy, and there's something fresh in a superhero who unabashedly admits his identity to the world.  But I knew this second film was leading somewhere (namely, to the Avengers movie), and films with intentionally unresolved plot elements are frustrating.

Sure enough, this was a bridge film in every sense.  Picking up shortly after the first film ends, it has the hero grappling with the newly-found fame and controversy of his hero identity, while suffering the usual personal setbacks in his health and social life.  A bad guy is introduced to instigate action and be dealt with, while a larger nemesis goes free*.  Meanwhile half the characters just appear from nowhere, unless you happen to have sat through the credits of the first film like I did

If I were to sit down for a weekend and watch the entire Avengers cycle, this would be a decent, flashy connection between the first film and the celebrity-packed sequel.  Alas, as that sequel as yet does not exist, it just fell short.

Scarlett Johansson seemed - wrong - for her role, somehow.  I just didn't work for me.  And I'm disappointed Gwyneth Paltrow didn't maintain her hair red as it was in the first film.

Iron Man 2
2010, 124 minutes, directed by Jon Favreau

* well, he lives

Kick-Ass

I barely missed the world premiere of this at SXSW, with my wife and I ten people back in line when they cut it off at the impressively-large Paramount.  (We instead saw the enjoyable Erasing David.)  I understand it rocked with a theater of enthusiasts, both there and at a pre-screening at last December's Butt-Numb-A-Thon.  Alas, I've been relegated to an opening-night screening at the not-so-cool Alamo Drafthouse Lake Creek, a corporate-owned theater about as far into the Texas suburbs as you can be and still be in Austin.

To enjoy this film, you have to turn off your higher brain and just enjoy the kick-ass action, and that works best in an audience able to do the same.  It's less comfortable when you're surrounded by parents unable to grasp the meaning of a R rating.  (At one point, in response to some dialog by the 13-year-old co-star, the young boy in the seat next to me leans over to his mom and asks, "What does c*&% mean?")  I think most of the audience hated it, and unfortunately that dragged it down.  See it with friends near a college or somewhere else that everyone will get it.

Kick-Ass
2010, 117 minutes, directed by Matthew Vaughn

K-20: Kaijin niju menso den (The Fiend with Twenty Faces)

The drama, the story, the action, the music - it's all over the top in all the right ways. This Japanese alternative-history superhero film is damn awesome.

K20: Kaijin niju menso den (The Fiend with Twenty Faces)
2008, 137 minutes, directed by Shimako Sato

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

The plot could be ok. The action could be ok. Even fuckin' Shia LaBeouf could be ok. Just fix the damn dialog! Cut out the jokes and the incessant yapping and tell the CGI-packed action-adventure story that your heart desires, Mr. Bay.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
2009, 150 minutes, directed by Michael Bay

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

So this is supposed to be the history of Wolverine. Why is the first 120 years of his life blown through in the opening credits? I can picture the storyboard meeting:

"Ok, we have to hit points A -> P that fanboys will recognize from the comic books, plus allow for sufficient action scenes with Logan. Since all that clearly won't fit into a mature, developed plot, let's just string them all back to back."

I admit, it's better than the shit Brett Rattner shoved down out throats a few years ago. Honestly, I'd rather they just didn't make any more since they've mucked it up so badly.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
2009, 107 minutes, directed by Gavin Hood