The Lego Movie

Everything about this film was pretty awesome.

The Lego Movie
2014, 100 minutes, directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller

Oblivion

I avoid Tom Cruise films on principle, but at this point HBO stays until GoT so why not.  Oh, yeah, because I saw this, it was called Moon, and it was better.  Partly because it didn't include Tom Cruise.

Oblivion
2013, 124 minutes, directed by Joseph Kosinski

Star Trek: Into Darkness

I feel like I've seen this before.  Oh yes, I have.  You know, I've had to endure many reboots in the last decade.  The Star Trek one, as mentioned in my previous review, was one of the better ones.  After this film, I may have to retract that.  I'm disappointed both in the parallelisms they choose to keep (come on, radiation from the warp core again?) and the continuity they choose to break (they can get to and from Klingon space in 10 minutes?).  All in all I'm glad I saved this for Netflix.

Star Trek: Into Darkness
2013, 132 minutes, directed by J. J. Abrams

Fantastic Four

2005.  Marvel isn't yet part of the Disney monolith.  Their film rights are scattered among production companies.  Sony, through its Columbia subsidiary, has released Spider Man and its panned sequel.  Fox is in the middle of the first X-Men trilogy.  A film based on Marvel's original heroes, the Fantastic Four, makes perfect sense, and Fox delivers.... something godawful.  The writing is bad, the acting is bad, the plot is horrid and cliché.  Somehow it did well enough to churn out a sequel, but after that the series was canned, and when Fox decided to reboot (set to release in 2015), the negotiations with Disney/Marvel go so badly that Marvel cancels the Fantastic Four comics rather than provide even a little bit of promotion.

One day, the rights will all revert, and Wolverine can be an Avenger, and Spider Man can help Mr. Fantastic.  But not in this generation.  Instead we get dribble like this.

Fantastic Four
2005, 105 minutes, directed by Tim Story

Nightcrawler

The underbelly of overnight freelance videographers - stringers - is not what I would usually consider a viable film topic.  Nightcrawler attempts it with some level of success.  Incredibly uncomfortable at times, weak in others, the film portrays Lou Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal), a thief and general creep, who stumbles into a new business selling video to the local news, the gorier the better.  Lacking any morals, the role is seemingly perfect for him, and yet its hard to not be continually disgusted as he shows just how far he'll go for the story.  Overall the film is not horrible, but it's not excellent, and I'm very surprised a major studio picked it up for release.

Nightcrawler
2014, 117 minutes, directed by Dan Gilroy

During the Q&A, director Dan Gilroy added a few interesting tidbits:

• The film was shot in 28 days with an $8M budget.
• Jake Gyllenhaal lost 38 pounds in 10 weeks prior to shooting.
• They followed a real stringer around in prep to get a feel for the business, and were generally horrified at what they saw.  Much of what happens in the film is real. 

Redemtor (Redeemer)

Marko Zaror is the Redeemer.  Meting out forgiveness - or punishment.  Trying to atone for his sins.  Hunted at all times by the Scorpion, his mortal enemy.

This festival has lacked martial arts action, so the Redeemer is a refreshing relapse.  The film lacks the raw, real feel of Zaror and Espinosa's early films, nor does it have the noir polish of Mandrill.  What it does have is three kick-ass one-on-one fights with skilled opponents, brought forth from Zaror's dabbling interest in MMA.  The styles of each fight are distinct - a pro MMA fighter, a genjikai karate master, a kickboxing champion - so relish in those and worry less about the hum-drum mook slaughter.

Redentor (Redeemer)

2014, 88 minutes, directed by Ernesto Diaz Espinosa

The Editor

Giallo, according to Wikipedia, is an Italian film genre from the 1970s featuring a crime/mystery, eroticism, and elements of horror.  The Editor, a modern tribute to the genre, covers all of that with a healthy layer of melted cheese.

Rey Ciso is a famous film editor past his prime, hampered by the loss of his fingers on his right hand, forcing him to use wooden prothsetics.  His job to cut and edit the latest giallo film from the only studio to accept him is hampered by a series of deaths in the cast and crew, all with their fingers removed just like him.  Rey must help solve the case while staying a step ahead of the police and reediting the film to feature the surviving cast.

Set in the 1970s complete and dripping with mustaches and cleavage, bad out-of-sync dialog and gore, this film surely tickles the right nerves of lovers of this genre.  For the rest of us, it's a good laugh.

The Editor

2014, 102 minutes, directed by Adam Brooks

Tombville

I don't know very much about Belgium.  Apparently some of their filmmakers follow the French style of cinema, which in my experience often involves existential madness, poor lighting, and melodramatic music.  Tombville delivers on all of the above.  David finds himself in a town sort of, or at least a place with some buildings (it's very dark).  He doesn't remember anything at first, including his name, but quickly finds himself on the run from the town's inhabitants, unable to escape until he remembers how he arrived.  Memories of his childhood, with his verbally abusive prostitute mother, are intermixed, tracing through his life up to it's defining moment.

Tombville

2014, 69 minutes, directed by Nikolas List

Open Windows

It's nice to have one of the top films of SXSW brought back to Austin, though that's a given as the film was created through Fantastic Fest.

Nick Chambers (Elijah Wood) is the lowly webmaster of jillgoddard-caught.com, a website dedicated to the famous actress.  He's won a contest to interview Jill herself (Sasha Grey).  When the interview is cancelled, a disappointed Nick is cajoled into some subtle spying, which quickly escalates into a race against the mysterious Chord (Neil Maskell) to find and save Jill.

Taking place entirely within windows on Nick's computer screen, Open Windows flourishes under its self-imposed constraints.  The only parts that seemed to falter was when I though they'd left that screen.  It thus has a few weak spots, but is overall a solidly fantastic film.

Open Windows

2014, 100 minutes, directed by Nacho Vigalondo

The Duke of Burgundy

Evelyn, the most domineering sub ever learns not to abuse a GGG partner Cynthia during a summer of love and entomology.  From the director of Berberian Sound Studio, this slow melodrama feels like a BBC/PBS miniseries with a overbearing score and many, many stills of pinned moths.

The Duke of Burgundy

2014, 104 minutes, directed by Peter Strickland

Housebound

This film was billed as a midnighter, a suspense horror.  Kylie is sentenced to eight months home detention, back at her mother's home.  And while Kylie is all grown up now, her mom and her younger self feared the man in sheets, the boogie man lurking in the basement or creaking in the walls.

This is where I thought it would devolve into abject terror.  Instead, it turns out her parole officer is a part-time paranormal investigator, Kylie ain't afraid of no ghosts, and comedy will rise to balance the fright.  And it all works.  The film is really pretty good.

Housebound

2014, 107 minutes, directed by Gerard Johnstone

The Island of Dr. Moreau

To be fair, I'm watching this film pancake style, meaning they talked over much of the dialog and skipped a bit in the middle.  However, being one of the few to see this film in its original theatrical release in 1996 thinking it would be good - as opposed to the vast majority who watch it because it is so bad - I feel qualified to pass judgement.

It's just stupid.  There's barely a film here, pasted together in edit from the corny scenes, half-baked dialog, and who-gives-fuck acting from the cast who already knew it was doomed before shooting began.

The Island of Dr. Moreau

1996, 96 minutes, directed by John Frankenheimer

Ich Seh Ich Seh (I See I See)

This is a terrible film.  Elias' twin brother Lukas is dead, but is alive in Elias' mind and on screen.  No, they don't say out loud until they last scene, but is obvious from the start with how his mom responds to her child(ren).  The accident seems to have driven his parents to divorce, but rather than seek psychiatric help for her schizophrenic son, Marie-Christine gets plastic surgery to advance her television career, and retreats to their lake home to recuperate, Elias in tow.  Convinced the lady under the bandages isn't his mother, and egged on by the voice of his brother in his head, Elias demands to know what happened to his "real mom", eventually torturing and killing her in the process.

There are no redeeming qualities.  There's no discernible plot.  No mystery to solve.  It's just bad cinema.

Ich Seh Ich Seh (I See I See)

2014, directed by Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz

Confetti of the Mind: The Short Films of Nacho Vigalondo

Maudie's makes my favorite breakfast tacos.  Their salsa is okay, and Pete's tacos are pretty good, but when you put them together something magical happens and the result is delicious.  Having Fantastic Fest back at the Alamo South Lamar puts us again next to Maudie's, and it's good to taste the joy again.

Nacho Vigalondo makes some of my favorite Fantastic Fest films.  Normally, I'm not a huge fan of shorts.  I don't usually bother to review them, except when assembled together into a "feature", as these have been by Drafthouse Films, complete with director introductions and commentary.  Drafthouse Films itself has a pretty poor reputation for me.  They tend to buy films just on the wrong side of funny, the ones too /much/ of whatever they are, to the point that they're just not good any more, at least for those outside the Cult of Tim.

So when the Drafthouse assembles a compilation of Nacho's shorts, ranging from early experiments to his Oscar-nominated "7:35 in the Morning" to recent productions, something magical happens.  They're short films that are good, fit and tied together by narration and my warm history of his work, assembled by Drafthouse because of his relationship with the festival.  I'm happy Fantastic Fest has come home to Nacho Vigalondo and I can experience these shorts again.

Confetti of the Mind: The Short Films of Nacho Vigalondo

2014 compilation, 57 minutes, directed by Nacho Vigalondo

Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau

1996's The Island of Dr. Moreau was a bad film.  But it wasn't the film meant to be.  Original director Richard Stanley set out to make something completely different, but thanks to death, divorce, lots of studio pressure, and a few asshole actors, John Frankenheimer's ultimate product is a bumbling inept mass, one I'll cover in more detail when I see it again this evening.  Lost Souls isn't about that film, it's about the one never made, the one by Richard Stanley, and just how it went awry.

As a documentary, it dives into the rumor underbelly of filmmaking like few have before.  While some perspectives (Ron Perlmen's and Val Kilmer's for example) are conspicuously missing, those interviewed paint a candid picture of disaster far better to watch than the actual film.

Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau

2014, 97 minutes, directed by David Gregory

Richard Stanley: "I made a mistake; I met Val Kilmer."

Attributed to Marlon Brando: "If I was directing a film called 'The Life of Val Kilmer', I wouldn't put that prick in it."

Attributed to Marlon Brando: "I'm getting paid.  You're getting paid.  None of the scripts make any sense, so why worry?"

Welp (Cub)

Scouts, in the woods, but there's something out there...

There's something weird about society.  No, it's not the existence of a cub-scout-themed horror film.  It's the fact that, of all the deaths in the film, it's the dog's death that makes the audience uncomfortable.

Welp (Cub)
2014, 85 minutes, directed by Jonas Govaerts

Horns

This film is sad.  You should know this going in.  Beautiful, angelic Merrin (Juno Temple) is dead, and her long-time boyfriend Ig (Daniel Radcliffe) is out on bail, awaiting trial for the crime.  With the whole town presuming him guilty, he has no hope to find the real killer and clear his name - at least, not until he wakes to find horns sprouting from his head.  As anyone who sees them starts to share their innermost confessions, and take suggestion to do bad, Ig must imbrace his inner devil to trace the events leading to Merrin's death and find the real killer.

Horns

2013, 123 minutes, directed by Alexadre Aja

"Revenge is all-consuming"

El Incidente (The Incident)

Man I'm sad about this film.  One of the few sci fi films on the schedule, it plays really strongly for more than an hour.  Two groups of people are stuck in a loop, one in an infinite staircase, the other on a deserted stretch of road.  In each case, someone has been hurt, but there's no way to help.  Supplies (from a candy machine and convenience store, respectfully) continuously refill, but there's no escape.  There's great character development, it's going someplace.  Then, when it reaches climax - explanation montage doo wee doo.  And that's that.

What a disappointment.

El Incidente

2014, 100 minutes, directed by Isaac Ezban

Wastelander Panda

Why -hasn't- a live-action post-apocalypse Australian wasteland survival story starred mutant pandas before?

Be warned: it's not a comedy.  But it's spectacular.  Available as a web series later this week.

Wastelander Panda

2014, 71 minutes, directed by Victoria Cocks

From the Dark

Mark is a stupid person, a know-it-all jerk who swings from brazen misguided confidence to quivering slug in the face of danger.  Sarah is a little less stupid - she has a survival instinct - but has no ability to manage her one asset, the light that scares keeps the creatures at bay.  Come on, keep more than one torch, and use the matches to light something that will burn longer than the matchstick - the house, for example.  And just because its lights were knocked out, that doesn't mean the idling tractor with your lantern isn't a better escape route than stumbling through the moors.

I thought we were past heroes who make stupid decisions to advance the script.  Apparently not.

From the Dark

2014, 90 minutes, directed by Conor McMahon

Everly

Salma Hayek.  Mother.

Everly

2014, 92 minutes, directed by Joe Lynch

Tommymer (Tommy)

Continuing on the theme of Northern European crime dramas, Tommy focuses on the aftermath of a big heist.  Things didn't go well, Rikard's dead, and Tommy and his wife and daughter fled with the money - or so everyone thinks.  A year later, Tommy's wife Estelle returns to Sweden, daughter in tow, looking for the cash on Tommy's orders.  Everyone is plenty afraid of him, but of her?  What happens when they stop believing Tommy will return?

Tommymer (Tommy)

2014, 95 minutes, directed by Tarik Saleh

Fasandraeperne (The Absent One)

Two murders, twenty years ago.  A missing girl.  Powerful tycoons.  And detectives Carl and Assad, driven to solve the case and bring the guilty to justice.

Based on a book series, the film plays out like a novel, with a rich background that implies more than it shows.  There's a second film and more to come, so if you're looking for a new crime series to love be ready to dive in.

Fasandraeperne (The Absent One)

2013, 119 minutes, directed by Mikkel Nørgaard

Wyrmwood

The result of a four-year, self-funded shoot, Wyrmwood looks and feels like a classic ozploitation film, complete with badass zombies, a colorful cast, government baddies, and a kick-ass brother-sister duo in Barry and Brooke.  Both immune to the Zombie Infestation, the siblings take wildly different paths to find each other, acquiring friends and special skills on the way.

I can't wait for the sequel.

Wyrmwood

2014, 92 minutes, directed by Kiah Roache-Turner

John Wick

Alfie Allen can't catch a break.  His character Iosef just wants to jack this guys car; killing the dog is for spite.  Oh, what a poor choice that was, Iosef.

While more comedic, the brutality harkens back to The Raid, in lots of good ways.

John Wick

2014, 136 minutes, directed by Chad Stehelski

The Hive

If you like zombie survival and Memento go see this film, but seriously try to learn as little else as possible going in.  You won't be disappointed.

The Hive

2014, 89 minutes, directed by David Yarovesky

"I love you Katie."

Purgatorio (Purgatory)

Purgatory starts as I expected: kid terrorizes broken mom who's lost her child.  But that's where my expectations break from the script.  Never devolving into outright physical horror, the plot nevertheless becomes far more sinister.

Featuring outstanding performances by Oona Chaplin (of Game of Thrones) and Sergi Méndez, the film is a psychological trip with a special twist.

Purgatorio (Purgatory)

2014, 83 minutes, directed by Pau Teixidor

Død Snø 2 (Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead)

The Nazis have risen from the dead, killed your friends, taken your girl, taken your arm, and left you blamed for their crimes.  To make matter worse, the local doctors have sewn a zombie arm onto your stump, and it keeps killing people.

Who can you turn to when the Nazis advance on town?  Your Allies, of course - an American Zombie Squad and your own horde of undead Soviet soldiers.  It's time to kick some Nazi zombie ass.

Død Snø 2 (Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead)
2014, 100 minutes, directed by Tommy Wirkola

They filmed the Norwegian-language scenes twice, so the North American release will be in English.  Fantastic Fest showed the subtitled international release.

Realiti

This film is a head trip.  Vic (Nathan Meister) is a former journalist and up-and-coming junior executive at Tri Media Corporation.  They're involved in something - Realiti - a drug in development - secret trials - espionage - consumer manipulation - hallucination.  The story feels like Descent Into Madness, but maybe that depends on where it picks up...

Realiti

2014, 95 minutes, directed by Jonathan King

Tusk

I could listen to Michael Parks tell stories of his life at sea for hours, but I think I'll pass on the tea.

This film is sad, because the sadness highlights the insanity.  Both Parks and Justin Long give solid, on target performances, just serious enough to be plausible.  Alas, the Johnny Depp character is too far over the line and breaks the immersion, unfortunate for the scenes that should be the serious break for the batshit crazy of the grotto.

Tusk

2014, 102 minutes, directed by Kevin Smith

Guardians of the Galaxy

I can picture the day - 1971 - Marvel is flying high with their diverse properties.  But they're all based on Earth.  In the midst of a drug-induced hazed, someone has a bright idea.  Rather than bring a super hero to Earth, why not send a regular guy into space?  And Guardians of the Galaxy is born.*

The film really tries to maintain this campy vibe despite being reset in a modern age, and it delivers.  When you are establishing your base as a talking racoon and a tree, why not throw in a 1970s soundtrack and smooth dance moves?

Guardians of the Galaxy
2014, 122 minutes, directed by James Gunn

* I have no idea if this is how it actually happened.  It seems probable.

Red 2

I could say that the Red series is everything that's wrong with modern spy films.  It's more show than substance, more flair than grit, more punchline than punch.  Wrapped into that are aging actors - Bruce Willis primarily - whose abilities to withstand a punch, or a knife, or a gun, are simply unbelievable.

But then again, this movie gets right so many things that its contemporaries - I'm looking at you, Untouchables - get wrong.  It's not about the cameo, or joking around with old buddies.  It's about being of a certain age, one where your work is your art.  There are other lines, like the Raid series, to satisfy, the brutal realism of combat.  This is about watching Bruce Willis and some good actors have fun with their work, their art.

Red 2
2013, 116 minutes, directed by Dean Parisot

The Raid 2

Prisons are horrible places.  But that's where Rama must go to work his way into the crime family that killed his brother, expose them all, and bring them down.  If that's not enough - - what is?

I loved the audio track of the first Raid.  This time upgrade your screen.

The Raid 2
2014, directed by Gareth Evans

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

I'd heard this was surprisingly good.  I see now that this must be placed in context with how awful it was expected to be.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
2012, 105 minutes, directed by Timur Bekmambetor

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I really appreciate what they are trying to do with the Marvel universe.  It's expansive, it's dynamic, and sometimes you need to tear the old establishment down to build a better one.  That's the purpose of this film, not the most obvious "bridge" I've ever seen, but perhaps the bridge connecting the two largest film masses.  S.H.I.E.L.D. has a problem, and that problem is Red Skull infiltration.  It's cancerous, and it's metastasized, and if S.H.I.E.L.D. and humanity want to survive, it's time to cut it out.

It's a little incredulous that they don't just point out that the bad guys were fucking Nazis.  I think Steve and Nick and the rest of the team would get more sympathy for what they had to do if they'd just point that out.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier
2014, 136 minutes, directed by Anthony and Joe Russo

District 9

I'm impressed that a South Africa production was so eloquently able to disguise apartheid critique under a thick gory blanket of sci fi, the way it's meant to be done.  Plus Wikus Van De Merwe is such an awesome action hero, it's hard to not root for him as both a speciesist mid-level manager and a blood-thirsty killing machine.

For more commentary see my original review from 2009.

District 9
2009, 112 minutes, directed by Neill Blomkamp

Safe

I like Jason Statham movies.  Or, rather, I liked Jason Statham in a movie, when he wasn't in every one of them.  The enjoyment of his performance on screen was lessened when he was packaged into one of this generation's few action heroes.  (The generation gap between him and the rest of the Expendables cast always throws me.)  Still, films like Safe satisfy a need for mindless action.

Mei, a young math prodigy with a perfect memory, is brought to the U.S. to manage the numbers for a Chinese crime syndicate.  Meanwhile, Luke (Jason Statham) finds his wife murdered by the Russian mafia when he fails to throw a fight.  Rather than kill him, too, the Russians promise to kill anyone he approaches or talks to, leaving him a homeless outcast.  Just when he's had enough, Mei steps into his life.  The Russians tried to grab her, to get a code from her head, and now they, the Chinese, and the dirty cops Luke used to work with all want to get her back.  With nothing left to lose but her, he does everything he can to keep her safe.

Safe
2012, 94 minutes, directed by Boaz Yakin

Kill 'em All

This is insane.  After a brief exposition featuring a few world-class assassins, eight find themselves waking in a rusting, industrial wasteland.  Set to fight against each other by an unknown mastermind, of course those featured in the pre-show survive the early slaughter, team up, and set out to escape - or seek revenge.

Kill 'em All
2012, 86 minutes, directed by Raimund Huber

The Expendables 2

I was going to say something like, "This film would be okay if they'd just stick to the action scenes and stay away from the sappy dialog and contrived cameos."

But then I watched the closing fight, between Sylvester Stallone and Jean-Claude Van Damme.  It may be the worst choreographed man-on-man fight to the death I've ever watched.  Wow.  Even the awful denouement with more Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't match the terribadness of that fight.

The Expendables 2
2012, 103 minutes, directed by Simon West

Rise of the Zombies

I really thought this made-for-tv zombie film was going somewhere.  There were lots of scientists, making real progress learning about the disease, and maybe they'd even explore bringing the zombies back from the dead.  Maybe they were even aiming for some sort of God-motive for retribution and salvation.

But no, they just wanted to kill off all those scientists, and leave the few survivors in limbo as the story ends with limited solutions to the apocalypse.  This wasn't worth staying awake to see the end.

Rise of the Zombies
2012, 89 minutes, directed by Nick Lyon

I missed the start of the film.  Maybe it was awesome.  What I saw was Danny Trejo, on the cover the DVD, die less than a minute after I turned this on.  I guess they couldn't afford him after that.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

The anachronisms in this film are astounding.  They'd be okay if the plot wasn't trite, the characters shallow, or the dialog horrid.  Hansel and Gretel, having survived the witch house in their youth, grow up to the witch hunters for hire.  They're brought in to a small country town with a growing witch presence, where something terrible is on its way.  Only they have the guns and technologically advanced rapid-shot crossbows to stop it.

I'm struggling to say anything nice about the film.  Watching it via Netflix on my iPad while jogging at the gym was better than watching a basketball game on ESPN.  I guess it has that.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
2013, 88 minutes, directed by Tommy Wirkola

An Adventure in Space and Time

This made-for-TV BBC movie dramatizes the William Hartnell era of Doctor Who, from the creation of the series through his departure, primarily from the point of view of Verity Lambert, the show's original producer, and from the good Doctor himself.  I found the series surprisingly well done; they went to good effort to recreate the early sets, costumes, and looks, now cheesingly-shot in glorious HD.  If anything distracted me, it was the appearance of Matt Smith in one scene, which was simultaneously an anachronism for the 1960s and dating what would otherwise be a "timeless" story to the 2010s.  Obviously it's not interesting unless you're a fan of early Doctor Who, but if you are and want more meta in the stories, grab one of the many repeats and enjoy it.

An Adventure in Space and Time
2013, 90 minutes, directed by Terry McDonough