Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Captain Jack Sparrow. What a character. I saw this in the theater years ago - and what a refreshing surprise it was. Rather than watch it again on TV last night, we popped in the DVD at my in-laws house to avoid the commercial breaks.

The first movie is the best, before the story is bent, twisted, and complicated to extend the plot into a trilogy. This one is highly recommended.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
2003, 143 minutes, directed by Gore Verbinski

The Golden Compass

Ugh. Regular movie theater - at a mall, even, just before Christmas. Obnoxious parking. Previews (yes, the previews) started 10 minutes after the published start time - the movie was 20 minutes late. At least the place is mostly empty, since the film has been out for weeks.

The Golden Compass is supposed to be the atheists' answer to The Chronicles of Narnia, or something like that. Whatever. I don't care for the controversy either way. In this latest film, my biggest complaint was the inability to pick an audience. Half the film sounded overtly condescending, like I was being lectured at. The other half was adult-oriented violence. I couldn't tell if this was intended for kids or not. The plot lines are very formulaic ("prophecy of the witches" and whatnot), and little to nothing unexpected occurred. I suppose I'll keep watching the series - in the same way I'll probably keep watching the Narnia movies - just to keep occupied until the major studios find something worthy of replacing the gap caused by the end of the Lord of the Rings cycle.

The Golden Compass
2007, 113 minutes, directed by Chris Weitz

I created the "adventure" tag for this movie, then discovered that I couldn't go back and apply it to any earlier posts. While some of those movies, like Sunshine, for example, might be describing a part of an adventure, it just didn't have the scope of travel, or of vast locales, that I need to use the term. I'd make the label "epic adventure" but then I couldn't apply it to The Golden Compass, either.

I Am Legend

This was my first experience at the new Alamo Drafthouse at the Ritz. I attended the Last Night at the Alamo in my pre-blog days (and have three original Alamo seats - fourth row, just left of center - to prove it). But I was a bit miffed by how the Heroes of the Alamo Foundation was handled during the transition, and the tickets for the opening night gala at the Ritz went on sale while I was in Japan.

Buttnumbathon submissions were also while I was in Japan, and the weekend before last I was unsuccessful in winning a standby seat. (The number after mine was called, grr.) So here I am, finally, to see a first-run film that sounded right up my genre.

Overall, this was a good film, I guess. I think the director wanted to say something epic, but the script he had to work with was the zombified corpse of the 28 Days Later script. Years ago, Independence Day was new, exciting, epic. I felt this could have been the same thing, but the script just didn't support it.

And don't let me start on the on-again off-again pseudo intelligence in the antagonist.

I Am Legend
2007, 101 minutes, directed by Francis Lawrence

Eraserhead

What. The. Hell. did I just watch? I'm nearly speechless. The film is industrial, gritty, disgusting. There's little dialog; just enough to keep us from getting lost. This is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Don't eat while watching this.

The other reviews I've just read say to think of this not as a film, but as a work of art. Perhaps, if you consider embalmed calves to be works of art...

Eraserhead
1977, 108 minutes (in the DVD version), directed by David Lynch

The Mist

I like bad movies. Maybe I haven't made that clear enough. However, I can't tolerate stupid people. Unfortunately my experience with this movie was a conglomeration of stupidity.

The Wednesday before Thansgiving means my wife cooking all day with her mother. While I greatly enjoy cooking, there's no room for me. So I decided to catch a movie, and picked a new horror release at a theater here in the DFW area that I've heard good things about. In Austin we have the original, hip Alamo Drafthouse. Colleyville, Texas, has the Metro Theater. It's a movie-and-dinner place as well, but the process is a bit different, and ultimately disappointing.

The previews had already started when I arrived, so I slipped in a got a nice, comfy leather swivel chair seat. After a few minutes I slipped back to use the restroom before the film started. On my way back in, I asked one of the three servers standing at the door for a menu, which they retrieved. After picking a tasty entree, I use the little pager button on the table to call a server... and no one comes. I try again, and again. Then I try the one down the table near the next party. This one I clearly see blinks when pressed, so maybe mine didn't work. Still... nothing. Ok, so I guess I just won't eat. The people next to me were served almost as soon as I sat down, so there's no expectation a waiter is going to come by at all.

Actually, a while later, a waiter does come by to ask the group next to us if they need anything else. (More on my neighbors later.) The server casually mentions that the pagers don't work, so they'll be by the door if needed. Gee, thanks for telling me that when I came in, or after I sat down when the previews were still running, or when I asked for a menu, or any later time when you could have walked past to check on me or anyone else. The employees are probably just high school kids, but they could have done with half as many kids with twice as much customer sense, and they'd have better service. Decisions to hire like that come down from management, so that's where I place the blame. And, just FYI to the owners, try little pieces of paper that we customers can write our orders on and stick up on a little clip for a water to see. They work great at the Alamo Drafthouse you're trying in vain to copy.

So, yes, the movie. Like I said, stupid people make me angry. Now for a horror film, I don't expect everyone to be a stoic action hero. People are going to stand and scream just before they are devoured. But completely ignoring the supernatural, the script just has a large group of seemingly "intelligent" people make stupid mistake after stupid mistake. Here are a few I noted while I watched:

• Don't just use the duct tape to delicately tape the one broken window along the cracks. How about hatch taping /all/ the windows, so they won't shatter when broken? This would have helped later when the massive insect gets in, wouldn't it?
• If you see someone lighting a mop on fire inside a building (a building in which you are trapped), somehow that will need to be extinguished. Why don't you starting looking for the fire extinguisher right away, instead of waiting for someone to set themselves on fire?
• Hey - best idea yet. Instead of huddling in the big room, why not use the bathroom or locker room? Both are smaller, with no windows and a readily defendable door. At least when the insects and flying reptiles are storming in, why wasn't there a plan to get the kids back to safety?
• Finally: "Even though our plans to get more gas failed, I'm not ready to give up yet. Let's wait and use the gun on my kid and friends as the last resort." Or not. Oops, I gave away the ending. Sorry.
  

Oh, and my neighboring movie watchers: Don't swish and shake the ice left in your drink glass. Don't eat the ice ("crunch, crunch"). Don't talk to each other. And definitely don't talk in a normal voice to the wait staff. Snoring is a no no, too.

One thing my neighbor did say: "I can't believe they paid somebody to film this." It's the only justifiable thing he said.

The Mist
2007, 127 minutes, directed by Frank Darabont

The Crow

I've never seen this movie before. I actively avoided watching it for years, mostly out of spite because I came up with the same character concept several years before the film - and no I'd never seen or heard of the comic books.

Edit: Ok, my wife tells me that we rented this eight or nine years ago, back when we lived in Knoxville, Tennessee. I really don't remember this; I must have blacked it out.

I hope it's not sacrilegious to say so, but I was really distracted by Brandon Lee's acting. His tone and voice just didn't match with the tone of the film. As a poignant tribute to Brandon Lee, great film. As a film in my favorite genre, I'd have to pass.

The Crow
1994, 117 minutes, directed by Alex Proyas

Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion

I debated about whether or not I should include this in my film review log. First of all, eww. Second, I only saw the last hour of the movie, while resting at a hotel in San Diego. After a day of seminars on urban development, with an evening and two more days to go, an hour of stupid Sunday seemed just the thing to unwind. Finally, since I readily admit that I never plan to see this movie again, this would be my only chance to review it. I decided to take notes for a later posting, then promptly forgot about it during the hassle of having my cell phone stolen.

Anyway, I'm back home again, my new cell phone is activated, and I'm going to admit I watched this - and I liked it. I'm not a fan of cringe-worthy film. I even have trouble watching The Office. But, having gone through my own ten-year reunion a few years ago, I found the similarities - even and especially the big dance scene - that I was left smiling as the film ended.


Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
1997, 92 minutes, directed by David Mirkin

The Illusionist

Alas, on Monday the 22nd I found myself stuck for 11 hours again with just a 6" screen. Before sleeping off most of the flight, I caught one of the in-flight selections.

Cheesy as it sounds, I don't like watching movies with unhappy endings. That's not why I want to immerse myself in film - to be saddened. But despite the tragedy in this movie, I found the promise of hope. Plus, though this may be obvious already, I'm easily fooled by plot twists.

I will watch this again some day on a larger screen with pleasure.

The Illusionist
2006, 110 minutes, directed by Neil Burger

Sunshine

Let me start by saying that Google and its services (including Blogger) are very frustrating to use overseas. Yes, I'm in Japan. Yes, most folks in Japan would prefer Japanese versions of these web sites. But I can't speak Japanese and don't even have the character sets installed. Line after line of questions marks aren't very useful, and there are no options to pick a different language.

It's been a few weeks since I last saw a movie. A break is good after the immersion that is a festival such as Fantastic Fest. But yesterday's 12-hour flight to Tokyo with little more than a 6-inch screen to keep me company was a fitting time to delve back into film, and there's no better choice to start with than something from my favorite genre, low-budget sci fi.

With Sunshine, I felt the budget was well used. I was somewhat disappointed with the expected plot twists and some cliché characters, but it was overall a satisfying experience. I'd certainly see it again if stuck on a plane with Evan Almighty as the only other option. (Incidentally, I later made it 10 minutes into Evan before giving up, so no review is forthcoming.)

Sunshine
2007, 107 minutes, directed by Danny Boyle

There Will Be Blood

Once again the Alamo Drafthouse DHCP server suffered under the strain of 200+ movie fans trying desperately to blog and read about the movies they've seen during a fantastic week of Fantastic Fest. With the festival behind me, I can try to get back to the usual routines of work and home. Don't expect many film reviews in the next few weeks. ;-)

Last night's closing night feature was There Will Be Blood from director Paul Thomas Anderson, in its first public screening. As historical fiction based on an Upton Sinclair novel about the early 1900s American oil industry, this isn't exactly on-genre for the festival. Tim League in his introduction simply called it a "fantastic film". Still, it seemed to play well with the audience. After the movie during the brief Q&A, the director referred to it as part horror, with a vision of Dracula in the lead character. Maybe.

This is an art film in many senses. It's releasing at the end of December to be in prime share for Oscar nominations. It doesn't have a single word of dialog for the first 10 minutes of the film, and then 90% of the dialog is from the main character. Anyone who goes to it based on the title will be disappointed, and half the people who perhaps would go based on the story will be confused by the title.

All of this said, I thought parts of the movie were very slow. There were too many scenes with little to no sound at all, and with the on-screen action moving at a snail's pace. I think judicious cutting of 10-15 minutes would improve the flow, especially during the first half of the film. Leave all the scenes intact - just shorten them.

I watch this kind of film on PBS when I'm balancing the checkbook. I don't go see it in the theater. If you like this genre, go and enjoy the film.

There Will Be Blood
2007, directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Death Note 2: The Last Name

The epic struggle continues for another installment.

Going in, I was under the impression that they planned to stretch this into a three-to-five movie franchise. Thus, I was surprised to see just so many of the expected super-conflict clichés packed into this one film. If you like the series, go into this knowing that it concludes the story and you'll be satisfied.

Death Note 2: The Last Note
2006, 141 minutes, directed by Shūsuke Kaneko

Death Note

I think most who will see this are already familiar with the story. This is a fantastic tale of corruption and death, and (in the typical Japanese fashion) a story of the struggle between two young, brilliant, emotionless, cruel, good, evil, men.

Having no background on the series, I felt that they did a good job of building up sympathies with Light before bringing them down. Even with the very predictable themes, it was a good ride from start to finish.

Death Note
2006, 126 minutes, directed by Shūsuke Kaneko

El Orfanto (The Orphanage)

The Spanish have stolen the show. Juan Antonio Bayona's masterpiece El Orfanto is a beautifully-told ghost story. There are few shocks or other horror elements that would scare off potential audience - sadly just the Spanish with subtitles will doom this to a poor American release.

The writer and director were on hand to answer questions after the movie. Director Juan Bayona described his movie as a "connection to childhood". Writer Sergio Sánchez added that he "redid Close Encounters but replaced aliens with ghosts and added some angry Carlos." While in screenplay form they received strong feedback that this movie was a mix of genres and therefore unable to succeed. I'm very pleased that they proved that wrong.

El Orfanto (The Orphanage)
2007, 100 minutes, directed by Juan Antonio Bayona

Sex and Death 101

The Alamo's public wireless network is stressed under the strain of hundreds blogging after each movie. I was unable to get an IP address at all yesterday, so my four movie reviews had to wait.

I had high hopes for this as something very different for this festival. It's more of a guy comedy, but the star is just a bit too smug, and the ending is way too predictable.

The "romantic comedy" tag is a stretch, no doubt, but it falls closer to that than anything else I can imagine. Sorry.

Sex and Death 101
2007, 100 minutes, directed by Daniel Waters

La Hora Fría (The Cold Hour)

I had high expectations for this movie. It's one of the few truly "sci fi" films to screen at this year's Fantastic Fest, and sci fi is my favorite genre. I loved the concept, and the movie was filmed and choreographed beautifully. When it was introduced, we were told that "all questions would be answered" if we just stayed until the very end. Alas, I disagree, and after a night of restless sleep filled with dark passages and impending doom, I have to say that I'm not satisfied. Just what, exactly, does come out at the Cold Hour?

La Hora Fría (The Cold Hour)
2006, 93 minutes, directed by Elio Quiroga

Spiral

I'm often disappointed in the "madness" film genre. I don't want to see some of the things they put on screen. (See Offscreen for example. Or don't, actually, ever.) I liked this one. I was disappointed in the obvious nature of one of the plot twists, but the ending more than made up for it.

Spiral
2007, 90 minutes, directed by Adam Green and Joel David Moore

Flash Point

The first 45 minutes of dialog are slow and confusing. But then... WOW. If you have any interest at all in martial arts films, go see this one.

Flash Point
2007, 88 minutes, directed by Wilson Tip

The Last Winter

I go to survival films to find ones like this. Strong story, solid acting, and a good use of budget. I've heard complaints about the ending being too "explicit", but I'm happy for an ending that's not esoteric. I'll enjoy seeing this one again. Ron Perlman sighting!

The Last Winter
2006, 107 minutes, Larry Fessenden

Maiko Haaaan!!!

Despite not being as weird as most Japanese fare, I found Maiko Haaaan!!! to be a refreshingly strong comedy. It's good to sometimes see the bumbling idiot where every goes right, and they didn't overdo too many clichés or break out into too many spontaneous song and dance routines. It was a solid, enjoyable work.

Maiko Haaaan!!!
2007, 90 minutes, directed by Nobuo Mizuta

Aachi and Ssipak

This is a delightful romp through the vulgar and obscene. Leave your brain at the door and just enjoy stupid and crass humor in its raw form. The action flows well and the humor is nonstop.

Aachi and Ssipak
2006, 90 minutes, directed by Jo Beom-Jim

Dai Nipponjin

I might have liked this more at a different time of day. Dai Nipponjin is a Japanese mockumentary, shown midnight last night as a secret screening. Like all mockumentaries, it is rich with awkward pauses, incongruous events, and use of the camera to reveal more than the "subjects" are willing to say. We were warned that the film started slow, then would build up in hilarity. Sadly, it never really picked up to keep me into it at 1:00 AM. The brief bits of hilarity were too sparse between the slow and silent.

Japanese absurd can play well at night - Naisu no mori: The First Contact played beautifully after midnight. Dai Nipponjin just didn't rise the level of absurdity that I've come to expect from the Japanese comedy genre.

If you like mockumentaries, rent this one on a Sunday afternoon when you're folding laundry. Just don't expect it to keep you awake.

Dai Nipponjin
2007, 113 minutes, directed by Hitoshi Matsumoto

Crazy Thunder Road

Japanese. Punk. Bikers. You can't resist.

It was a student project of writer/director Sogo Ishii, but it was good enough to be picked up and blown up for the big screen. In some cases, it shows - horrible special effects, strange incongruous cuts - but the bizarre aspects play well with an American crowd.

Crazy Thunder Road
1980, 95 minutes, directed by Sogo Ishii

Son of Rambow

I enjoy young boy coming-of-age stories. Half of us were there once, with imaginations more vivid that reality, and boundless visions of the future and our own abilities. I don't think this film will disappoint anyone who sees it. It didn't disappoint me.

Son of Rambow
2007, 95 minutes, directed by Garth Jennings

Persepolis

I won't call this a story of Iran. It is a story of life. Every society places controls on its members. Without them, it wouldn't be a society. Yet all too often we go too far. Those in charge of enforcing the controls become abusive, drunk on their power. I don't think the cycle will end.

Go see this film.

Persepolis
2007, 95 minutes, directed by Vincent Paronnaud and Marjane Satrapi

Uncle's Paradise

Don't let the "softporn" tag fool you. This movie has a serious plot with multiple plot lines and twists. The fact that they are all insane is merely a side effect. Movie makers in Japan have to include the softport to get funding, but then often proceed to tell a story that is bizarre and original. This one is no exception. You have been warned.

Uncle's Paradise
2007, 64 minutes, directed by Shinji Imaoka

Offscreen

Never see this film.

Offscreen
2006, 93 minutes, directed by Christoffer Boe

Southland Tales

This was the first of the Ain't It Cool News "special screenings" at Fantastic Fest. Us unwashed masses have no idea what the film will be until moments before the projector starts. This time, what we got was Southland Tales, a sprawling film of untold proportions. Seriously - I've seen the film and large portions remain untold.

It's weird - no question - far weirder than Weirdsville could ever be. But it's not weird because they hired the first family of weird actors to play stereotypical roles. No, it's weird because you can sit there, watch it, and shake your head in wonder at the notion that someone paid good money to film this and put it on the screen.

In the Q&A after the film, the director said that he wanted to draw the cast entirely from those with a comedic background or from the pop culture. For the most part he did so, with all of the comedic roles portrayed by comedians, and the pop culture roles played by pop culture icons. Some of the people barely have speaking roles, but at least they show up on camera. He also wanted to try role reversals, with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson playing a schizophrenic and Sarah Michelle Gellar as a porn star. Maybe it would have been fresh in 2005, but by now I've seen the Rock in nonstandard roles, and I haven't seen enough SMG in the past few years to be shocked by this "break from tradition".

The film just didn't work for me. I picked up a copy of the three backstory graphic novels, which they were giving away after the film. If I ever get around to reading them, I'll edit this post to explain if they help the film make sense.

Southland Tales
2007, about 120 minutes unless they chop more out before release, directed by Richard Kelly

Alone

Although I dislike horror, especially including the shockfest, I find that Alone, seen September 22, does have redeeming qualities. I appreciated the plot twists and turns, which served and advanced the story instead of merely setting up the next visual effects shock.

Alone
2007, 95 minutes, directed by B. Pisanthanakun and P. Wongpoom

Girl Who Leapt Through Time

The stereotypical look and feel of anime turns off many people, often including me. There's too much slapstick, and too much time spent with unrealistically-large mouths open for crying or gasping in disbelief. And yet, if you look past that, there are truly fantastic stories being told through the genre. Girl Who Leapt Through Time, seen on September 22, tells a story of choice and consequent. It beautifully balances comedy, tragedy, and introspective. If you can see past the anime to see the story, I highly recommend this one.

Girl Who Leapt Through Time
2007, 98 minutes, directed by Mamoru Hosoda

Flight of the Living Dead

Zombie flicks are all the rage, and more of them are drifting into the category of zombedy. This one is somewhere in the middle, with plenty of the usual cheese and comedy, but still a good splattering of shock and gore. For someone who doesn't like horror but loves zombie flicks, this one is a keeper. Oh and yes, it's better than that other horror-on-a-plane film from last year. This was the midnight show on September 21.

Flight of the Living Dead
2007, 97 minutes, directed by Scott Thomas

Weirdsville

Sadly, I can't even tag this weird. Drug addicts who go on zany adventures, a small town demonic cult, and even midgets in full medieval regalia can't make this live up to its title. It's the first movie I've seen this week that wasn't subtitled, and sadly it was the worst so far. Stupid is as stupid does. It does have some redeeming qualities - it's not Half Baked, for instance. But I could skip seeing this again.

Weirdsville
2007, 90 minutes, directed by Allan Moyle

Mirageman

No wires. No special effects. Just raw martial arts in a superhero setting. By "raw" I mean unscripted, and by "unscripted" I mean that they just went out and fought, and filmed it. Mirageman was a good movie, seen September 21. The same team had just finished their first feature, Kiltro, and the stunt team was well trained to work together. This synergy shows in the very different second effort. Pay special attent to the fight in the sauna - the guy who flies through the air and bounces his head off a column before landing really did just that. The movie's star added in the Q&A that no one was seriously hurt.

Mireageman
2007, 90 minuntes, directed by Ernesto Díaz Espinoza

The Backwoods

I don't like horror, and I'm not a huge fan of survival films, but The Backwoods, seen September 21, tells a strong story beyond that of the typical "raw chase." A solid story of relationship and family strife envelopes the brief action, telling the stories of both the hunters and the hunted.

The Backwoods
2007, 98 minutes, directed by Koldo Serra

Sword Bearer

What happens if you give an ordinary person extraordinary power? In post-industrial Russia, it's not pretty. Super power fantasy films have been moving more and more towards dark and gritty, in contrast to the magical journey themes of the 1970s and 80s. Sword Bearer dispenses of any sense of the epic, and instead concentrates on the destruction such an ability could cause if not controlled or understood. The story is very well told, acted, and filmed, but the brief moments of absolute beauty are surrounded by overwhelming darkness and despair.

Sword Bearer
2006, 110 minutes, directed by Filipp Yankovsky

Cronoscrimines (Timecrimes)

I'm a sucker for sci fi, and time travel is a big sub-genre. Time travel movies can be divided into two camps - those where you can change history, and those where you can't. The latter category is much harder to pull off, because the same scene shot multiple times can look cheesy with continuity flaws. This movie falls into the "cannot change history" category, but I have to say that the entire film just feels "tight". Nothing obvious jumped out that distracted me from the strange but intriguing story.

"How do you change things if you can't change anything?" That was the question director Nacho Vigalondo posed during the Q&A after this world premiere. I think he answered that question well, and I'd recommend this movie to anyone who likes the genre. As this was the first showing of the first movie from this director, I certainly expect to see more good things from him.

Cronoscrimines (Timecrimes)
2007, 88 minutes, directed by Nacho Vigalondo

Wicked Flowers

Back in 2007, I started a project.  I attend a few film festivals a year, and regular get asked to name some films I liked.  Put on the stop like that, though, I simply draw a blank.  To avoid that - and help my memory overall - I'm posting notes and a brief review for every film I see, starting with this one, my first film of Fantastic Fest 2007 here in Austin, Texas. 

Wicked Flowers is a movie I can respectfully categorize as from the weird Japanese film genre.

What can I say? Weird. It's not the weirdest movie I've ever seen - that honor still must go to
Naisu no mori: The First Contact aka Funky Forest, which I saw at last year's festival. But, if you're looking for a suitable head scratcher with resolution, give it a shot.

Wicked Flowers
2006, 85 minutes, directed by Torico