The Lego Movie

Everything about this film was pretty awesome.

The Lego Movie
2014, 100 minutes, directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller

Ich Seh Ich Seh (I See I See)

This is a terrible film.  Elias' twin brother Lukas is dead, but is alive in Elias' mind and on screen.  No, they don't say out loud until they last scene, but is obvious from the start with how his mom responds to her child(ren).  The accident seems to have driven his parents to divorce, but rather than seek psychiatric help for her schizophrenic son, Marie-Christine gets plastic surgery to advance her television career, and retreats to their lake home to recuperate, Elias in tow.  Convinced the lady under the bandages isn't his mother, and egged on by the voice of his brother in his head, Elias demands to know what happened to his "real mom", eventually torturing and killing her in the process.

There are no redeeming qualities.  There's no discernible plot.  No mystery to solve.  It's just bad cinema.

Ich Seh Ich Seh (I See I See)

2014, directed by Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz

Welp (Cub)

Scouts, in the woods, but there's something out there...

There's something weird about society.  No, it's not the existence of a cub-scout-themed horror film.  It's the fact that, of all the deaths in the film, it's the dog's death that makes the audience uncomfortable.

Welp (Cub)
2014, 85 minutes, directed by Jonas Govaerts

Wastelander Panda

Why -hasn't- a live-action post-apocalypse Australian wasteland survival story starred mutant pandas before?

Be warned: it's not a comedy.  But it's spectacular.  Available as a web series later this week.

Wastelander Panda

2014, 71 minutes, directed by Victoria Cocks

Carrie

At Fantastic Fest, I saw this film, except it ends with a man with a gun, and it was daring.  Here, it ends with a woman with telekinetic powers, and it's classic pulp.  Funny how a little sci fi bypasses the typical "this is horrible!" reaction and turns it into pop fun.

Carrie
2013, 100 minutes, directed by Kimberly Peirce

The Dirties

The director and star of the film summed it up best: "It's the story of everything leading up to the point where they're immediately and forever portrayed as monsters."

Matt and Owen are picked on.  By everyone.  They escape into the world of cinema, making films for their multimedia class.  Their latest, The Dirties, is a police drama, where they hunt down and punish bullies for their crimes.  As the bullying gets worse and their friendship suffers, Matt decides to film a remake...

The camera man is really distracting.  Someone - two people actually - follow Matt and Owen around and film everything, but these characters are never seen, never say a word, and only occasionally referenced.  In the Q&A Matthew says he originally wrote characters for them ("Jared"), but ended up cutting it as it distracted from the plot.  Meh.

The Dirties
2013, 80 minutes, directed by Matthew Johnson

Yes, this was actually filmed in a high school, using high school students as extras, and most of the time the kids didn't even know they were on film.  But it was in Canada, where they're less crazy about these sorts of things.

Kid's Police

Based on a popular TV series from the 1970-80s, the premiss for this film is simple: hit with a mystery de-aging ray, a special police squad focused on organized crime have physically reverted to children.  It's really hilarious, at first, then it's mildly humorous, then eventually it gets old.  It's a one-hit wonder - kids acting like adult, Japanese cops - and then it fades fast.  The huge holes in the plot don't help, since the action is cheesy and more appropriate for children anyway.  It's not even that weird, just kinda lame.

Kid's Police
2013, 100 minutes, directed by Yuichi Fukuda

Why do they need cover stories?  Why do they go to school?

Escape from Tomorrow

At this point, Escape from Tomorrow is better known for its surreptitious production than its story.  Filmed in secret at Walt Disney World in Florida, the film is billed as a parody of the make-believe story Disney wants its customers to see.

But then, there's the film itself.  Despite being fired that morning, Jim wants to have one good final day at the parks with his family.  Instead, he and his wife bicker and argue, and they take turns with their son and daughter separately, trying to keep either of them happy.  But then there's the two Parisian girls that Jim follows.  I don't think this was supposed to be an existential journey, so I keep trying to piece the parts together to make an arcing plot.  Exactly how are the scientists under the Spaceship Earth related to the aging witch with her mesmerizing necklace?  Was Jim selected as a child for this ultimate fate, and has his son now been selected to share the fate as well?

Escape from Tomorrow
2013, 90 minutes, directed by Randy Moore

Jigoku de naze warui (Why Don't You Play in Hell)

It's hard to explain the type of crazy that only comes from Japanese film.  Laughable plots, guttural rage, inexplicable motivations, nonsensical action, all are woven together to form the core of many a weird import.

In this installment, a yakuza boss's young daughter has her toothpaste commercial torn from the air, after her mother kills several rival gangsters who invaded their home.  Ten years later, mother is about to be released from jail for her crime, and the father wants to reward his wife with a feature film starring their now-rebellious upper teen.  Meanwhile, a young group of friends want to be filmmakers, making a vow to die happily as soon as they've made a great movie.  They happen to film a yakuza  soldier fleeing the boss's home - a solder who became infatuated in a really creepy way with the rival's daughter.

It's all set up for the final, crazy encounter - the filmmakers are "hired" to stage and film a massive fight between yakuza groups, one featuring the boss and his daughter, the other now headed by the man who "loves" her.  It's hard to describe what happens next, but assume it's insane.

Why Don't You Play in Hell
2013,  126 minutes, directed by Shion Sono

Kick-Ass 2

I have mixed feelings about this franchise.  While I have nothing against the films per se, my experiences with Kick-Ass were less than idea.  Moreover, the existence of these led directly to the cancellation of Defender, the U.S. remake of the excellent Mirage Man with the same director and star.

But then, there's the badass that is Hit Girl.  Really, the series is better every minute she's on screen and in action.  In this installment, several years have passed since Dave a.k.a. Kick-Ass retired.  He's in high school now, as is Hit Girl (Mindy).  She's never given up her father's purpose, and still roams the streets, more dangerous than ever, dodging the oversight of police detective / guardian Marcus.  Other vigilante masked heros have emerged in Kick-Ass' absence, inspired to carry on his mission.  One team, which calls itself Justice Forever, is led by Colonel Stars and Stripes, a former mob enforcer cum born-again Christian.

As Dave and Mindy interact, she pulls him back into a life of crime fighting, while she eventually promises Marcus to "retire".  Kick-Ass joins Justice Forever and helps in their quests to bring down human traffickers.

Meanwhile, Chris ("Red Mist" from the first film) accidentally kills his mother, and thus becomes a multimillionaire orphan, still obsessed with Kick-Ass' identity and hope for revenge.  With Dave back on the crime-fighting scene, Chris don's his mother's old bondage gear and becomes Motherfucker, a superhero whose power is Wealth, which he immediately uses to hire a group of actual villians who wreak havoc on the town in their search of fame and Kick-Ass.  Much violence ensues, until Kick-Ass and Motherfucker must meet for a final confrontation, and Hit Girl decides if she can truly fit into society or accept her role as perpetual outsider.

There's a dearth of kick-ass heroines, and in this series the existence of Hit Girl shines as its brightest contribution.  This could easily be the end of the series, or a bridge story; it's difficult to say if it will work with them both as adults, but if it does, I'll be there to see it.

Kick-Ass 2
2013, 103 minutes, directed by Jeff Wadlow

Come Out and Play

This disturbing remake of 1976's Who Can Kill a Child? is set in Mexico, not Spain, but features the same chilling path of desperation and tragedy until the lead characters face the choice to die or kill their assailants.

Come Out and Play
2012, 110 minutes, directed by Makinov

Graceland

Marlon, driver for a dirty Congressman in the Philippines, is taking both his and his boss' daughters home from school when a kidnapping attempt goes wrong.  Rather than take the Congressman's daughter, the kidnappers kill her and take Marlon's by mistake.  He has to find a way to get his boss' help to get his daughter back without him knowing his daughter is already gone.

This is a very dark and gritty film, with almost no one coming out untainted.

Graceland
2012, 99 minutes, directed by Ron Morales

King of Pigs

Children have limited filters for emotion, and while at their peaks they are angelic, at their depths their brutality is sickening.  This Korean animated film starts by sticking a knife in your gut, and then just keeps twisting for two hours.  Kyung-min, seemingly calm after an unexplained opening scene, contacts old friend Jong-suk.  It's been 15 years - since middle school - since they've talked, and it's time to catch up on old times.  Prepare to be depressed.

King of Pigs
2011, 97 minutes, directed by Sang-ho Yeon

Here Comes the Devil

The devil knows no depths he will not sink.

Here Comes the Devil
2012, 97 minutes, directed by Adrián García Bogliano

Frankenweenie 3D

There's little need to run through the plot Frankenweenie.  It is what you expect it to be, a feature-length rewrite of one of Tim Burton's early shorts.  That's not why the film is awesome.  It's awesome because of the attention to detail in creating a vast 3D, claymation world, and framing that world in the confines and freedoms of black and white film.  It's awesome because of Tim Burton's macabre sense of humor and how readily it can be conveyed through puppets.  Forget your kids (seriously, don't bring them under 8 years old or so); this film packs plenty of emotional punch for adults.

Frankenweenie 3D
2012, 87 minutes, directed by Tim Burton

In the spirit of the film, the Alamo sponsored a Monster Ball for patrons and their (under 20 pounds) dogs in costume.  And as part of the multi-cast world premiere, one of the theaters allowed pets - but fortunately not my theater.

The Final Cut

Alan Hakman (Robin Williams) is a cutter, a taxidermist of memories for those who lived and died with a Zoe implant, with their entire life captured on film.  Haunted by the memories of his own life, Alan cleans those of his clients, leaving their families with only the sanitized good they wish to see at their loved one's rememory gathering.

Then, some things happen, and Alan faces a life crises.  And while science fiction film most certainly doesn't require action, none of the things seem particularly life changing; no matter how well or inaccurately he remembered past events, he seems basically unchanged in his melancholy.  It's this malaise of sadness that permeates the film, and with nothing to perturb it the whole picture falls flat.

The Final Cut
2004, 95 minutes, directed by Omar Naim

The Hunger Games

It's unfortunately obvious that they were forced to compress an extensive novel into one film, what with all the knowing gazes that clearly imply history not explained to the audience.  I expect there's an extended cut with significant back story.

Nothing really seemed new, so I wasn't all that impressed.  It doesn't even attempt to set up a satisfactory conclusion, as if the rest of the series being funded is already assumed.


The Hunger Games
2012, 142 minutes, directed by Gary Ross

Citadel

Citadel is a story of urban and mental decay, and the struggle to fight for order and justice.  Tommy, a young father, is stricken with agoraphobia after witnessing his wife's brutal assault at the hands of a mysterious gang of street youth.  Held to the area by his wife's coma, he's certain that the gang plans to return for his son.  Can he escape, or is the option to face them in their stronghold, the abandoned tower block known as the Citadel?

I felt many of the decisions made in this script were harsh and brutal, yet exactly right for the dystopic wasteland of the urban renewal project and the devastated mental state of the main character.  It's not a particularly scary film, but it does a very good job of conveying Tommy's absolute terror, starting with simple things like stepping outside, but ramping up to far, far worse.

Citadel
2012, 84 minutes, directed by Ciaran Foy

Intruders

This is a tale of two children, separate but alike, haunted by Hollowface, who comes in the night. He steals their faces to wear as his own, for his face is long, long gone. But he does not realize how far parents will strive to keep their children safe and alive.

Intruders
2011, 93 minutes, directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo

Modus Anomoli

I really got angry with the protagonist of this outdoor survival horror. Carrying around a flashlight when being hunted outdoors falls in my stupidpeople category. There's a full moon. Do you have no night vision?

In the end, though, they explain everything, albeit in a way that leaves me baffled for an hour until it clicks. If you start to watch this definitely see it through.

Modus Anomoli
2012, 87 minutes, directed by Joko Anwar