Las Brujas de Zugarramurdi (a.k.a. Witching and Bitching)

This Spanish film really wants to stir up gender hatred.  It starts with a robbery: a group of street actors - and one young boy - steal a huge bag of old gold from a local store.  As they flee, their motivations emerge: alimony, custody, disdain.  All they need to do is make it across the border to France and they can start anew, but first they must pass through Zugarramurdi, a town known as the seat of witchcraft, occupied entirely by women with a deep-seated hatred for men.  Seems simple enough, right?

A lot of action doesn't make up for a weak plot, but it does make for an engaging midnight film.  It was fine, stupid in places, but I have no interest in seeing it again.

Las Brujas de Zugarramurdi (a.k.a. Witching and Bitching)
2013, 115 minutes, directed by Alex de la Iglesia

It's not really a comedy, but I needed something to tag it with to convey the comical nature of the plot.

Afflicted

Derek and Cliff set out on a year trip around the world, the fulfillment of a long-time dream and a chance for Derek to push aside his life-threatening medical problems.  They have everything set up to document and share their adventures with the internet and the world.  Things quickly go awry when Derek contracts a strange illness, but the filming continues, as he becomes more and more afflicted...

Holy hell, this was the first FF film that has truly come from nowhere and smacked me with awesome.  Shot on a very low budget on Canon 5Ds, with the writers and directors as the principle cast, they showed what an excellent result young talent can achieve with a story and a vision.

Afflicted
2013, 85 minutes, directed by Derek Lee and Cliff Prowse

Grand Piano

If you've ever wanted to see a suspense thriller starring Elijah Wood, set in real time during and amidst a classical orchestra concert where Elijah actually performs the works while facing off against a threatening sniper, you have oddly specific desires and prepare to be satisfied.

Grand Piano
2013, 90 minutes, directed by Eugenio Mira

I finally lucked into the correct theater.  Hooray for no simulcast!

Monshoot Shootout

Boo hoo, cops have to play by the rules.  A rookie cop chases down a man fleeing the scene of a shooting.  Is he involved or a terrified bystander?  The cop has a choice: shoot the man, arrest him, or let his escape.  Each of these is explored in sequence, showing the ramifications for his choice as they play out.  Or is this even his choice to make?  I struggle to enjoy this; it seems despite the choice his fate was sealed.

Monsoon Shootout
2013, 88 minutes, directed by Amit Kumar

Yet again, I failed on the Q&A lotto.  This sucks.

Escape from Tomorrow

At this point, Escape from Tomorrow is better known for its surreptitious production than its story.  Filmed in secret at Walt Disney World in Florida, the film is billed as a parody of the make-believe story Disney wants its customers to see.

But then, there's the film itself.  Despite being fired that morning, Jim wants to have one good final day at the parks with his family.  Instead, he and his wife bicker and argue, and they take turns with their son and daughter separately, trying to keep either of them happy.  But then there's the two Parisian girls that Jim follows.  I don't think this was supposed to be an existential journey, so I keep trying to piece the parts together to make an arcing plot.  Exactly how are the scientists under the Spaceship Earth related to the aging witch with her mesmerizing necklace?  Was Jim selected as a child for this ultimate fate, and has his son now been selected to share the fate as well?

Escape from Tomorrow
2013, 90 minutes, directed by Randy Moore

Jigoku de naze warui (Why Don't You Play in Hell)

It's hard to explain the type of crazy that only comes from Japanese film.  Laughable plots, guttural rage, inexplicable motivations, nonsensical action, all are woven together to form the core of many a weird import.

In this installment, a yakuza boss's young daughter has her toothpaste commercial torn from the air, after her mother kills several rival gangsters who invaded their home.  Ten years later, mother is about to be released from jail for her crime, and the father wants to reward his wife with a feature film starring their now-rebellious upper teen.  Meanwhile, a young group of friends want to be filmmakers, making a vow to die happily as soon as they've made a great movie.  They happen to film a yakuza  soldier fleeing the boss's home - a solder who became infatuated in a really creepy way with the rival's daughter.

It's all set up for the final, crazy encounter - the filmmakers are "hired" to stage and film a massive fight between yakuza groups, one featuring the boss and his daughter, the other now headed by the man who "loves" her.  It's hard to describe what happens next, but assume it's insane.

Why Don't You Play in Hell
2013,  126 minutes, directed by Shion Sono

Patrick

I didn't get to see You're Next at Fantastic Fest a few years ago, but really liked it during its encore screenings this spring at SXSW.  Amazingly, this is Sharni Vinson's next on-screen work, albeit in a more traditional role as a female heroine in a suspense/horror film.  Sharni is Kathy, a nurse who takes a recently-opened caregiver assignment as the mysterious Roget Clinic, where doctor Roget cares for and works to cure deep coma patients.  One particular patient is the focus of his attention - Patrick - and Kathy is drawn to his blight.  Wait, is he communicating with her?  Indeed, for Patrick is developing psychic powers, and has a secret plan that threatens Kathy, the clinic, and everyone she knows.

This is a remake of a campy 1970s horror, rewritten for modern pacing.  I probably would hate the original, but this one was pretty good.

Patrick
2013, 95 minutes, directed by Mark Hartley