The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

The Mummy franchise is designed to milk the same story over and over. The first problem is that the story isn't theirs - it's Indiana Jones with more guns. I've seen both of the previous films (and part of the spin-off Scorpion King). There's nothing that wrong with them, as cheese is fine when it's what I expect.

The issue this time was the setting and characters. Brendan Frasier just doesn't look old enough to have a twenty-something kid. Given that he's not even 40, he's not. A quick review shows that the first film was set in 1921, and the second in 1933. So he was 15 in the first movie? I guess they needed to hand the franchise off while Frasier was still under contract, and maybe that contract specified that he won't wear a little gray dye in his hair.

Anyway, this movie suffers from a common affliction among sequels: Too Many Characters. For every sequel you have to add a bad guy and sidekick. Too many of the characters saw far too little screen time, and the character development (such as it should have been, which isn't asking much) didn't have enough time.

One of my coworkers gave it the rating: "Beat's work." I think that depends on the work.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
2008, 112 minutes, directed by Rob Cohen

Satan's Slave

With insomnia comes bad movies. This one is at least a horror, or so it seems from the first 15 minutes. Then it just dissolves into fragmented plot of love and despair, brought about by the sudden death of the heroine's parents. Eww, witchcraft, nudity, incest. It's a horror, all right.

Satan's Slave
1976, 86 minutes, directed by Norman J. Warren

Fleshburn

I received this on a "Horrible Horrors" collection several years ago, but have never watched this one. It's good for something to do in a pinch.

This film is just awful. It's a slow-paced, wilderness survival psychological thriller. Except there's no thrill. They're all idiots. On the other hand, I have gotten the checkbook balanced while watching it.

Fleshburn
1984, 90 minutes, directed by George Gage

The Dark Knight

Finally, I had a chance to see this. The hype has been tremendous, and, while the movie was good, I don't think it lived up to my unreasonably high expectations. Christopher Nolan wanted to produce a very dark film, and I think the plot went the correct way to achieve that. The problem was that they limited the on-screen violence too much. Dark films need to be dark, not PG-13.

Still, I like the tight feel of the story. They integrated several plot elements of the first film into the second, and the switch of lead actress wasn't a problem, even having seen the other film a week ago. I look forward to the next installment.

The Dark Knight2008, 152 minutes, directed by Christopher Nolan

Batman Begins

The usual superhero line adds a villain per movie, and a sidekick every other. As with the last Batman series, eventually they decay to inane. When they retooled one that I still remembered I chose to pass. Now, with the buzz of the second in the new line, of course I had to grab this first.

I think the film starts weakly. Who is this mythical group of fighters, already set up and skilled, who solely want to help him? Machine of the gods is how Batman begins? Anyway, it mostly gets better. If only he could fix that cheesy growl. I'm expecting the improvements to continue into the next film.

Batman Begins
2005, 140 minutes, directed by Christopher Nolan

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

I saw Hellboy II: The Golden Army a few days ago. I haven't posted anything about it because I haven't felt much about it.

To be clear, like most of these comic book conversions, I have no history with the franchise. In this case I saw the first film in the theater on a whim. It was ok - campy - but with sufficient cuteness in the plot and characters. Demon who likes kittens, hah.

This time though, I just didn't feel it. People who drench themselves in the series probably got a kick out of Red and Blue getting drunk and singing love songs together. I just didn't get it. There seem to be plot drivers - like the public opinion of Hellboy - that appear to drive the story then vanish again without resolution. Honestly, I just don't think this was a good Hellboy story to tell. I'm sure there are others that would have made a better movie.

I'll try again next week when the next superhero movie releases.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army
2008, 120 minutes, directed by Guillermo del Toro

Hancock

Hollywood loves super heros. So do the rest of us, apparently. Here's another one (yawn). Again I know nothing about this franchise. The action is good, but meh, I just don't like the story. I'll try again next week when the next super hero film releases.

Hancock
2008, 92 minutes, directed by Peter Berg