X-Men Origins: Wolverine

So this is supposed to be the history of Wolverine. Why is the first 120 years of his life blown through in the opening credits? I can picture the storyboard meeting:

"Ok, we have to hit points A -> P that fanboys will recognize from the comic books, plus allow for sufficient action scenes with Logan. Since all that clearly won't fit into a mature, developed plot, let's just string them all back to back."

I admit, it's better than the shit Brett Rattner shoved down out throats a few years ago. Honestly, I'd rather they just didn't make any more since they've mucked it up so badly.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
2009, 107 minutes, directed by Gavin Hood

Watchmen

It feels like the story has already been told, and we're merely lucky enough to see it again. Most movies touch a single time, a fleeting moment, but this is eternal. I realize that the hype preceded my viewing, but I don't think that colors my judgment. I will remember this one.

Watchmen
2009, 162 minutes, directed by Zach Snyder

Wonder music selection.

ExTerminators

I found this pretty funny. Sure, it's a "men-are-stupid" girl film, but most guys will enjoy it, too. Plus it's weird that the story revolves around ABC Pest and Lawn, what with that being a real company here in Austin - my neighbor even works for them.

As SXSW waned, I slacked off on my movie blog. I'm finally getting this posted in mid-July. The film was good enough to warrant a better review, but to come up with the text I'll just have to see it again.

ExTerminators
2009, directed by John Inwood

Black

Who'd have thought that France would resurrect the funkiest of 70s genres - the blaxspoitation film - and remake it to such grand success? This film has all the traditional elements but feels fresh. Action. Adventure. Mysticism. Groovy Bass. Oh yeah.

Black
2009, 115 minutes, directed by Pierre Laffargue

Note to self: buy the soundtrack

The Slammin' Salmon

Stupid people. Stupid jokes. Sometimes slightly funny.

The Slammin' Salmon
2009, 93 minutes, directed by Kevin Heffernan

Edit: Ok, now a few days after seeing the film, I have to admit that I look back on it as funnier than I know it was at the time. I could see situations at film parties with the right group of friends and alcohol that this could be a hit.

The Least of These

In 2006, as the U.S. government ended the catch-and-release program for illegal immigrants, they created a facility to detain families that had entered the country to seek asylum. These are exclusively non-Mexican families who fled their homelands due to violence, such as those fleeing torture, mutilation, religious persecution, or domestic abuse. Their home countries could not protect them, so, like millions of others in the last three hundred years, they came to America to seek a better life.

Upon arrival they are arrested, handcuffed, and taken to a "converted" prison facility in Williamson County, Texas, where for nearly two years children of any age, housed with their parents, were treated as prisoners. Parents are expected to eat and feed all their children in fifteen minutes. Play time consists of being marched out single file to a yard, being told to sit, then being told to stand up and file back inside. Education is an hour a day. And all of this costs four to five times as much as a half-way-house-style facility, where families can live in monitored homes and retention until hearings runs over 90%. It's not that we need to open the doors of the country to anyone claiming asylum, but there are so, so many better ways.

After a lawsuit and settlement with the ACLU, conditions at the detection facility have improved. It's still a heartbreaking story. Thank you, ACLU.

The Least of These
2009, 62 minutes, directed by Clark Lyda and Jesse Lyda

Make-Out with Violence

Imagine a story about a girl who dies, and comes back as a zombie. She's found by some former friends, and held while they figure out what to do with someone who only eats living creatures (including her friends, if she could) and is slowly but surely rotting away.

Then imaging a story about teen angst, coming-of-age, learning about life and love in the last days of summer.

Then put the two together, but make sure it's not funny in any way, as it's supposed to be a serious emotional drama. Voila, you've created a festival film. I readily admit it's the least-creepy creepy film I've seen in some time, and overall it wasn't bad, but it left me wondering "Why film this?"

Make-Out with Violence
2008, 105 minutes, directed by the Deagol Brothers