Django: Unchained

The Alamo's new assigned-seat process frustrates me.  They've chosen now to cater exclusively towards people who can plan to see a film 12 or more hours ahead, which is rarely possible for me, or towards people willing to sit on the front row, which I am not.  Sure, they can cater to whoever they wish, but I can still be frustrated about it.

The only film with a decent available seat today was Django: Unchained.  It's Quentin Tarantino, which means it's gross, vile, sick, base, revolting.  So, you must set this aside.  Push all of that below you, and rise up to the surface.  From there, enjoy the beauty of the waves.

Django: Unchained
2012, 165 minutes, directed by Quentin Tarantino

Machete

"Machete don't text."

This isn't meant to be serious.  It isn't meant to be provocative.  It's meant to be kickass fun.  Danny Trejo is Machete, an ex-Federale who's been set up by a cartel of lowest scum on both sides of the border.  With the help of Michelle Rodriguez as Luz, leader of a immigrant network, and Jessica Alba as Sartana, a no-nonsense ICE agent, Machete is after justice and revenge.

Machete
2010, 105 minutes, directed by Ethan Maniquis and Robert Rodriguez

"I thought Machete don't text?"

"Machete improvises."

Gran Torino

This wasn't what I expected, but what did I expect? He's not 40 any more, but he does play a convincing angry, racist old man.

It's a poignant swan song for a life of violence. And it's done.

Gran Torino
2008, 116 minutes, directed by Clint Eastwood