What. The. Hell. did I just watch? I'm nearly speechless. The film is industrial, gritty, disgusting. There's little dialog; just enough to keep us from getting lost. This is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. Don't eat while watching this.
The other reviews I've just read say to think of this not as a film, but as a work of art. Perhaps, if you consider embalmed calves to be works of art...
Eraserhead
1977, 108 minutes (in the DVD version), directed by David Lynch
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
The Mist
I like bad movies. Maybe I haven't made that clear enough. However, I can't tolerate stupid people. Unfortunately my experience with this movie was a conglomeration of stupidity.
The Wednesday before Thansgiving means my wife cooking all day with her mother. While I greatly enjoy cooking, there's no room for me. So I decided to catch a movie, and picked a new horror release at a theater here in the DFW area that I've heard good things about. In Austin we have the original, hip Alamo Drafthouse. Colleyville, Texas, has the Metro Theater. It's a movie-and-dinner place as well, but the process is a bit different, and ultimately disappointing.
The previews had already started when I arrived, so I slipped in a got a nice, comfy leather swivel chair seat. After a few minutes I slipped back to use the restroom before the film started. On my way back in, I asked one of the three servers standing at the door for a menu, which they retrieved. After picking a tasty entree, I use the little pager button on the table to call a server... and no one comes. I try again, and again. Then I try the one down the table near the next party. This one I clearly see blinks when pressed, so maybe mine didn't work. Still... nothing. Ok, so I guess I just won't eat. The people next to me were served almost as soon as I sat down, so there's no expectation a waiter is going to come by at all.
Actually, a while later, a waiter does come by to ask the group next to us if they need anything else. (More on my neighbors later.) The server casually mentions that the pagers don't work, so they'll be by the door if needed. Gee, thanks for telling me that when I came in, or after I sat down when the previews were still running, or when I asked for a menu, or any later time when you could have walked past to check on me or anyone else. The employees are probably just high school kids, but they could have done with half as many kids with twice as much customer sense, and they'd have better service. Decisions to hire like that come down from management, so that's where I place the blame. And, just FYI to the owners, try little pieces of paper that we customers can write our orders on and stick up on a little clip for a water to see. They work great at the Alamo Drafthouse you're trying in vain to copy.
So, yes, the movie. Like I said, stupid people make me angry. Now for a horror film, I don't expect everyone to be a stoic action hero. People are going to stand and scream just before they are devoured. But completely ignoring the supernatural, the script just has a large group of seemingly "intelligent" people make stupid mistake after stupid mistake. Here are a few I noted while I watched:
One thing my neighbor did say: "I can't believe they paid somebody to film this." It's the only justifiable thing he said.
The Mist
2007, 127 minutes, directed by Frank Darabont
The Wednesday before Thansgiving means my wife cooking all day with her mother. While I greatly enjoy cooking, there's no room for me. So I decided to catch a movie, and picked a new horror release at a theater here in the DFW area that I've heard good things about. In Austin we have the original, hip Alamo Drafthouse. Colleyville, Texas, has the Metro Theater. It's a movie-and-dinner place as well, but the process is a bit different, and ultimately disappointing.
The previews had already started when I arrived, so I slipped in a got a nice, comfy leather swivel chair seat. After a few minutes I slipped back to use the restroom before the film started. On my way back in, I asked one of the three servers standing at the door for a menu, which they retrieved. After picking a tasty entree, I use the little pager button on the table to call a server... and no one comes. I try again, and again. Then I try the one down the table near the next party. This one I clearly see blinks when pressed, so maybe mine didn't work. Still... nothing. Ok, so I guess I just won't eat. The people next to me were served almost as soon as I sat down, so there's no expectation a waiter is going to come by at all.
Actually, a while later, a waiter does come by to ask the group next to us if they need anything else. (More on my neighbors later.) The server casually mentions that the pagers don't work, so they'll be by the door if needed. Gee, thanks for telling me that when I came in, or after I sat down when the previews were still running, or when I asked for a menu, or any later time when you could have walked past to check on me or anyone else. The employees are probably just high school kids, but they could have done with half as many kids with twice as much customer sense, and they'd have better service. Decisions to hire like that come down from management, so that's where I place the blame. And, just FYI to the owners, try little pieces of paper that we customers can write our orders on and stick up on a little clip for a water to see. They work great at the Alamo Drafthouse you're trying in vain to copy.
So, yes, the movie. Like I said, stupid people make me angry. Now for a horror film, I don't expect everyone to be a stoic action hero. People are going to stand and scream just before they are devoured. But completely ignoring the supernatural, the script just has a large group of seemingly "intelligent" people make stupid mistake after stupid mistake. Here are a few I noted while I watched:
- Don't just use the duct tape to delicately tape the one broken window along the cracks. How about hatch taping /all/ the windows, so they won't shatter when broken? This would have helped later when the massive insect gets in, wouldn't it?
- If you see someone lighting a mop on fire inside a building (a building in which you are trapped), somehow that will need to be extinguished. Why don't you starting looking for the fire extinguisher right away, instead of waiting for someone to set themselves on fire?
- Hey - best idea yet. Instead of huddling in the big room, why not use the bathroom or locker room? Both are smaller, with no windows and a readily defendable door. At least when the insects and flying reptiles are storming in, why wasn't there a plan to get the kids back to safety?
- Finally: "Even though our plans to get more gas failed, I'm not ready to give up yet. Let's wait and use the gun on my kid and friends as the last resort." Or not. Oops, I gave away the ending. Sorry.
One thing my neighbor did say: "I can't believe they paid somebody to film this." It's the only justifiable thing he said.
The Mist
2007, 127 minutes, directed by Frank Darabont
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
The Crow
I've never seen this movie before. I actively avoided watching it for years, mostly out of spite because I came up with the same character concept several years before the film - and no I'd never seen or heard of the comic books.
Edit: Ok, my wife tells me that we rented this eight or nine years ago, back when we lived in Knoxville, Tennessee. I really don't remember this; I must have blacked it out.
I hope it's not sacrilegious to say so, but I was really distracted by Brandon Lee's acting. His tone and voice just didn't match with the tone of the film. As a poignant tribute to Brandon Lee, great film. As a film in my favorite genre, I'd have to pass.
The Crow
1994, 117 minutes, directed by Alex Proyas
Edit: Ok, my wife tells me that we rented this eight or nine years ago, back when we lived in Knoxville, Tennessee. I really don't remember this; I must have blacked it out.
I hope it's not sacrilegious to say so, but I was really distracted by Brandon Lee's acting. His tone and voice just didn't match with the tone of the film. As a poignant tribute to Brandon Lee, great film. As a film in my favorite genre, I'd have to pass.
The Crow
1994, 117 minutes, directed by Alex Proyas
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